The Past is Present
by butterflyminxs
Summary: Just as their captain's exam results come out, Johnny is blown through a garage. The resulting head injury reveals more about his past and changes life for all those involved in his life. Can everyone cope with what takes place? *I welcome honest, helpful reviews!*
1. AN and 'The Party'

**AN: Reviews** are more than welcome if they are constructive. **Feel free to offer constructive criticism, point out any spelling or grammatical errors. **

**Disclaimer: "Emergency!" and their characters are copyrighted by Mark VII Productions, Inc. as well Universal Studios. All rights are reserved - no infringement of any copyrights or trademarks is intended of the show or other items. Medical information, show facts, and character background are based on research and used to the best of my ability. This is a work of fiction, and any similarity to actual persons and/or events is purely coincidental. This story is only written for entertainment purposes. No financial gain is being realized from it. The story, itself is property of the author.**

**Now, onto the story…**

* * *

><p>"Uncle Johnny!" came a high-pitched squeal from Jenny as her uncle exited his Land Rover.<p>

"Happy Birthday, princess!" Johnny exclaimed, easily catching her as she flew towards him.

Spinning the blonde hair, blue eyed girl around, he laughed at the way she clung to him after he let her down. She too was giggling, despite being still dizzy from her ride. Even at ten years old, Jenny still had the same sense of fun she seemed to have when he first began coming around the DeSoto's house. It was amazing how time flew; it seemed like just yesterday when Roy invited him to meet his wife Joanne, his one and a half year old son Christopher, and 3 month old daughter Jennifer. It was hard to accept at first that Roy and Joanne actually grew to quickly like him. In fact, with his background, it hard to accept that anyone would like him, let alone basically adopt him into their family like the DeSoto's had done over the time he and Roy were training to become paramedics.

_Well_, Johnny grinned to himself. _I was training, he was retraining!_

The two of them reminded them so much of his parents; they had seemed to fall more in love with each other every year they were married and that love was extended towards their family and friends. The two of them were there for their kids, teaching them what they felt was important such as what Roy considered basic first aid. Those basics went on to include camping, fishing, cooking, simple sewing and more.

Somehow, over the ten years they had been partners, he had become a brother to both Joanne and Roy, as well as an uncle to Chris and Jennifer. The DeSoto's included him in so many of their family activities that at times, it was astounding how comfortable he was around them. For the first time since Johnny had lost his parents, he felt he found somewhere he was not only welcomed and somewhere he belonged, but somewhere where he felt loved.

Growing up near a reservation, it was hard to fit in being a "half-breed". Too white for some and too red for the others, he never made lasting friends during the first twelve years of his life. Instead, Johnny just seemed to spend most of his time trying to stay out of the way of everyone, kids and adults, as they seemed to feel justified in bullying him and targeting him. The kids would go out of their way to exclude them. The adults on the other hand, seemed to feel he would wind up as 'just another drunk Injun' and despite receiving fairly good grades, the teachers seemed to ignore the slurs of the other kids and occasion beating he would receive from them. It wasn't as if he was the only one to get picked on, it just seemed as though if there was a choice, the kids tended to choose him over others. The teachers also didn't seem to care much if he needed help with his homework.

_Not that the education was all that great to begin with,_ Johnny reminisced.

Since no other schools were around for younger kids, he was forced to attend the local reservation school and at that time, many teachers didn't want to be there and had the same attitude: why educate kids who would grow up to become problems on society? Those who genuinely did seem to want to be there were scarce; anytime they did try to help out, the pressure from other teachers and those above them would just make things worse in the end for the kids so the kind teachers would just stop trying, if not leave altogether.

Johnny knew that at the end of the day, no matter how bad it may have gone, his mom would be there waiting for him to walk him home. It was quite of a walk home, especially for a young boy, but even in the cold Oklahoma winters, he didn't mind. The nearly 30 minute walk home with his mom was time with just the two of them before his dad came home from work where they could talk about anything. For a young, hyperactive Johnny, a lot was talked about every weekday.

The talks would wind down as they arrived home. He would sit at the kitchen table to do his homework from school, or if nothing was assigned, to go over the lessons that was taught that day. Johnny's parents were both in firm agreement that despite the level of education quality, he would be given the best possible chances they could give him in life.

Johnny was quick to finish his work before his dad got home, knowing that after the family meal he would be rewarded. His dad had an immense pleasure teaching his pastime favorite game of checkers to both his mom and him. Almost every night before bed, the three of them would gather around the fireplace where his mom or dad would tell him stories of their childhood or how they met before sending him off to bed with a tale from his mom's Indian culture.

For Johnny, weekends were even more special as that was when mom taught his dad and him even more about how she grew up-her culture, what it meant, how to speak the language, how her father taught her to track despite it being a 'man's job'. He and his dad would try to learn some of the native language that she remembered hearing as a child. All three of them would have fun trying to figure out the steps to the traditional dances her mother and father taught her. Often, nothing would be memorized as Johnny and his father would end up falling over their own feet, making all three of laugh until they couldn't catch their breath. It was these nights and weekends that Johnny took with him to school every time, knowing they would get him through any difficult moments.

The love the two of his parents held for each other seemed to grow each year that they were together. They had been together for a year before marrying. His dad said that although his father and mother weren't happy about it, both did support his decision. Shortly before he was born, however, both passed away within months of one another due to a flu epidemic. Johnny knew that his mom's parents were also no longer around; she had lost them when she was eighteen, just about six months before meeting his dad. A year after that, Johnny was born and his dad made sure to remind Johnny that older his sister would have loved him almost as much as his parents did if she knew about him. This was always stated with a tone of sadness as the two of them had lost touch almost four years into the Gage's marriage. It wasn't something that either of them had planned, it was simply what happened between her following her husband around the country while he served his country in the military.

Shaking his head to free himself from his memories, Johnny gazed upon Jenny and was once again amazed at how much he loved this little girl. No, a young lady, he corrected himself. Despite the young, carefree and fun-filled exuberance she held, Jenny still seemed to be more mature and perspective that rivaled her age. Her brother Chris, was the same way, although he had more restraint and acted more like his father. If anything, Jenny took after Joanne and Chris took after their father. Chris was even looking more and more like his father all the time as his once light blonde hair darkened slightly every year. Johnny felt a sense of warmth and belonging flow through him as he thought about how much he was a part of this family.

Sure, his aunt was good to him after taking him in, but after his parents died when he was younger, he never seemed to be part of a family again until the DeSoto's took him in. With his aunt, it was just her and her husband; she had spent the first fourteen months nursing her terminally ill husband. The next year was spent fighting to get over the loss of her husband and although she said she loved Johnny dearly, he quickly learned to be independent and never quite felt like part of a family. Now, with his aunt living in New Mexico and nearing 70, he was thankful to at least have some semblance of a family around, even if they weren't related by blood.

To finally have a family again, was welcoming, if not scary. Seeing Chris running towards him, Johnny grinned.

_Despite the scary, awkward, **what-the-heck-do-I-do**, **no-clue** moments, it is so worth it! Plus, it is always fun spoiling them rotten,_ Johnny admitted.

"Hey sport! How's it going?"

"Fine, I guess…" Chris heaved a sigh at his uncle.

"Fine?" Johnny raised an eyebrow at him, knowing something more was going on.

"It's just that there are so many girls here! I am just so glad there is finally someone cool to hang 'round, Uncle Johnny."

Laughing, he ruffled Chris hair. "Thanks. I think. Let's go see where everyone is, okay?"

Shaking his head yes, Chris lead the way in while Jenny almost dragged Johnny forward by his hand. Walking in, Johnny saw Roy watching Jo in the kitchen in amusement. Telling Jenny and Chris he would be outside shortly, he approached Roy.

"What's up with Jo?" Johnny whispered next to Roy.

"Not really sure… I think she forgot something."

"Really? Jo, forget something? That never happens!"

"I know," Roy confirmed, shrugging his shoulders. "I don't know what to do so I figure standing here is the safest thing to do."

"True," Johnny nodded. "Wait, Chris said something about a bunch of girls… If Jenny's friends are already here, does that mean you have a dozen kids unsupervised? Or am I just late?"

"Late," Roy tried glaring at him menacingly and failed miserably. He figured being late this time was a smart move. Eight pre-teen girls, plus his own two, plus the other guys from the firehouse where he and Johnny worked made up for an interesting combination. Considering how Chet often acted with his pranks, he defiantly could be considered the last kid, rounding the number up to an even dozen.

"So," Johnny began before being interrupted by Jo turning around and marching towards them.

"I need more ice cream! How could I forget how much is needed? Between the younger kids and bigger ones, we will go through a ton! How on earth?! Roy, you were supposed to remind me!" Jo exclaimed.

"Let me guess, our crew is the big kids," Johnny murmured to Roy. Seeing the affirming nod, he decided it might be best to take the attention off his best friend. "Calm down now. You and Roy just go outside, get the games started. I'll just run to the store real quick and pick up some, okay?" Johnny took control of the situation. One thing he did not want to deal with was a panicking female, especially if it was Joanne.

"No, no that's okay. Roy should go…"

"Nope, he and you should just go out and start having fun, I'll be back before you know it."

"Thanks, sweetheart," Jo gave him a hug and quick kiss on the cheek. "You're a life saver."

"Nope, just a sanity saver for Roy," he grinned and then ducked out of the way as she swatted at him. "I think I'll be leaving now…"

"Smart man," Roy stated, shaking his head at his partner.

"Roy!" Jo put her hands on her hips, smiling slightly as she glared at him. "Now, what is that supposed to mean buster?"

"Nothing, honey, it's just that…"

With those words, Johnny slipped out the front door, hurrying to get escape before he could get Roy in any more trouble. And if Roy got in trouble, it would be a sure bet that sooner than later, he'd end up having to deal with the fallout.


	2. A Need for Driver's Ed

Making his way back to the DeSoto's, Johnny was at a stop sign a couple blocks from their house when he felt someone slam into his back bumper.

"What the…" he mumbled, gingerly picking up his head from where it rested between the steering wheel and window.

For some reason, there wasn't a car in sight. Taking a deep breath, he shook his head in disgust carefully. Performing a quick self-check on himself and finding nothing wrong with the exception of a small bump near the top of his left ear, Johnny assumed he was too stunned to have noticed the car leaving. Considering how hard his head was slammed into the wheel, he just considered himself lucky not to have any damage to his window, or himself for that matter.

"Stupid idiot. Betcha he was too busy and in a hurry to give a crap. Just better have not done any damage to my car," Johnny ranted out loud as he got out of his car to check it over.

Finding minimal damage to the back end, he shrugged. Since he didn't have a headache and the damage done to his car would be fairly cheap to repair, there was no point in reporting it or telling anyone. Besides, he had to get back to the party; he was already running a bit later than he wanted, what with the store being busier than he had hoped for and then that dummy plowing into him.

_If I reported this, I'd end up with a puddle of ice cream in my car and then have to go back to that store for more. With my luck, something else would happen. Besides, I feel fine, so why get insurance involved just to have them charge him even more, _he reasoned.

"Hey Junior, thought you got lost," Roy smiled when he noticed Johnny wander into the back yard.

"Nope, no such luck! Besides, even when lost, I still know where I am, so I am not really lost, am I?" Johnny quipped.

"Now if that isn't the dumbest thing I have ever heard. Besides, couldn't ya just find a way to get lost completely?" Chet threw back at him.

"Kelly!" that one word from Captain Stanley was all that was needed for a quick 'sorry' to come to Chet's lips.

"Hey, Johnny, we've been wondering where you were," Marco said.

"Hey Marco. Cap," Johnny nodded towards them on the deck where they were sitting. "Got sent on errands just as soon as I arrived. What can I say? Chet cannot be trusted with such an important task."

"Thank you so much by the way," Jo said, rolling her eyes at the childish behavior as she set up the food. "Roy's almost done with the grilling and then we'll eat. I'll just take the ice cream and put it away from now."

"Sweet. I'm starving!"

"When aren't you, Uncle Johnny?" Chris asked, coming up to be 'saved' from the mob of girls running around the yard.

He couldn't wait till after lunch when the girls went home. That's when he felt the fun would really begin as everyone but the family and Uncle Johnny would leave, giving them more time to play something fun.

Laughing, Johnny just launched himself at Chris, tickling him until Chris breathlessly panted, "Enough, I give, I give."

"Thought that would teach ya a lesson," Johnny smirked.

"Food's ready!" Roy hollered, calling everyone to the picnic tables.

Letting everyone go ahead of him, Johnny realized that the smell of food was starting to get to him.

_I didn't have time for breakfast this morning. That must be it! I'll just get a little to start with and then go back for more._

Relived, Johnny went in line for food, grabbing a few things here and there. However, as everyone began talking over one another, instead of diving into the conversation like he normal would, Johnny instead fell quiet, trying to force down his meal. After everyone was finished, he let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

"Cake time!" Roy announced.

_Oh, no! I don't think I am up for this, I am just too tired…_

Sure enough, at Roy's pronouncement, Jenny automatically went to find her Uncle Johnny.

"You're gonna help me cut the cake, right Uncle Johnny? You promised this year you would since I'm old enough now to do so with help," pleaded the young girl.

"Don't worry, Princess, I remember," Johnny weakly smiled, trying to assure her. "Let's get going before the hungry masses attack us."

Giggling, Jenny lead him to the head of a picnic table and with as much energy as possible, Johnny sang along before helping to cut the cake. Once done with that, he told the young girl that he would be right back, but in reality, he knew his stomach couldn't handle the rich, dark chocolate cake or vanilla ice cream that would await him.

A couple hours later, Chris had his wished fulfilled as the last girl invited to Jenny's party left. Helping pick up all the left over wrapping paper, he watched his Uncle Johnny sink into a lounge chair. Normally, he'd be one to help, making clean-up into a game. Stuffing the last of the paper into the trash, Chris went to over to where his dad was saying good-bye to his crew mates.

"Dad, why is Uncle Johnny so tired today? And did you see he hardly ate anything, not even the cake?!" Chris question his father, the worry he felt for his uncle clear in his voice.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, he normally has a bunch of food you know? And he could barely eat what he put on his plate, which didn't seem all that full. Now, he looks like he's ready to sleep. He seemed fine before lunch."

"Hmmm," Roy looked over at his partner. Now that he got a good look, he too noticed that Johnny looked more tired than usual. Typically, he would have noticed it before, but with all the people running around, he felt he had barely held onto his sanity all afternoon. Either he was getting old, or the kids invited has more energy.

_Definitely more energy. Even Johnny looks tired and he is always hyper,_ Roy deduced. _Besides, the other option of being too old is definitely not an option in my book._

"Give me a bit, Chris. Let me see what I can find out."

Walking up to Johnny, Roy asked him if he was feeling okay.

"Uhhh? Yea, sorry long night last night, I guess. Neighbors were fighting and that must have bothered me more than usual."

"You sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine," he snapped. Looking and feeling guilty, he quickly apologized. "Sorry, just tired. You think Jenny and Chris would understand if I head out early? I want to try to get some extra sleep tonight, rest up tomorrow before the next shift."

"Sure, you know how they are, besides, the guys have already headed out," Roy paused, debating with himself. He knew how cranky Johnny could get and how if he pushed too hard, it might back figure. "Look, if you need to, you can stay in your room here if you want. Up to you."

"Nah, just would rather sleep in my own place for once, ya know," John cocked a grin at Roy.

Both knew he had a key to the DeSoto's and his own room anytime he needed, partly because of his tendency to get hurt at work and partly because the DeSoto's wanted him to know he had a place to go no matter what.

"Alright, I'll let you say good-bye to the kids. I'll see ya at work in a couple days. Call me or Jo if you need to."

"Yea, yea." Johnny agreed, getting up and going to the kids. It wasn't easy, especially since it was his princess' birthday, but after promising that just the three of them would do something special after his next shift, he was reluctantly allowed to leave.

_Man, I have no idea why I am so exhausted. Just glad Roy bought the excuse about the neighbors. I hate lying but it wasn't a total lie... They did fight, just happened _before_ I went to bed. Besides, I don't need him worrying._

Johnny wondered what was going on. Hopefully, a good night's rest and a relaxing day tomorrow was all he needed before his next shift. _I better not be getting sick, _he thought, climbing into his Land Rover with all thoughts of the accident earlier and his earlier promise to himself forgotten.


	3. Saved by the Klaxon

The next shift arrived way too quickly for Johnny's likening. Despite spending most of the time sleeping, it still seemed as though he barely slept at all. On top of that, he was starting to get a nagging headache that was making him dizzy and nauseous. For once, the idea of staying in his bed was much more appealing than going into work. He also hoped that by doing so, no one would notice how horrible he looked. Seeing that it was close to 7:30 am and that the Cap should be at the station, Johnny called there.

"Station 51, Captain Hookrader speaking."*

"Hello, Captain, this is Gage, is Captain Stanley there?" Johnny asked, pleading to whatever deities may be listening that he was.

As good of a fire captain Hookrader may be, as a person, there was a lot to be desired and he really didn't want to tell Captain Hookrader why he needed the day off. With his luck and Hookrader's personality, he'd end up feeling like even more of a complete wuss and end up with enough guilt over calling in over something so minor that he'd come in anyway. Before he could convince himself just to tell whichever Captain came on the line next that he was running a bit late, Captain Stanley was on the phone.

"Hi, John. I take it that since you're calling in early, so you are either running late or aren't feeling well."

"I really don't feel well," Johnny confessed. "I don't think I slept at all last night and I think I might be getting a cold or something."

Knowing how hard it was for him to admit that he was sick, Captain Stanley was more than a bit concerned. Usually, only Roy was able to force him to call in sick when he needed to be.

Probing for more information to see if he would need to send Roy over, he asked, "Do you have any other issues?"

"Just a huge headache…"

"And," Cap asked, knowing that there was more than that.

"And I'm kinda dizzy though I'm sure that's from not sleeping and I'm feeling kinda sick. Kinda sure that's from feeling dizzy," Johnny quickly said.

"Do you need a ride to see Dr. Brackett or Early?"

"No, no," Johnny almost sounded panicked at that thought. "Like I said, it's probably just the start of something and if I just sleep today, I'll be fine in time for the next shift."

"Alright, John," Cap said. "Call here if you need us or call either Jo or my wife if you need food or anything else."

"Yea, I will."

"I'll call HQ for you. Try to let me or Roy know ahead of time if you think you need your next shift off," Cap ordered gently.

"Thanks, Cap," John gracefully acknowledge.

"I don't mind in the least. Take care," Cap hung up the phone.

"Thanks," Johnny repeated and within seconds, was asleep again.

_This was one of the hardest parts of being a Captain of this crew,_ thought Captain Stanley.

Fighting fires is easy, but not longer after become the Station 51 A-Shift Caption, they were no longer _just_ men that survived under him. They had become his family. He knew his whole crew felt that way…they more than just spoke the typical 'all firemen are brothers' line. They felt it and lived it. Each of them had more or less adopted each other into the others family, although as the Captain, he was more like a father to a lot of them. He was the person to go for help and advice. All this was especially true for the youngest man, John, and he knew that the others watched out more for him as well. Their families did as well. There was just something about him that made them feel that way.

_Whatever special qualities John has, he certainly can use the extra T.L.C., _Captain Stanley thought as he picked up the phone to call headquarters to get a replacement paramedic. _I wonder if I should call my wife…nah, John would call Roy or Joanne first. Besides, I don't want to worry her. Although, she'd likely say I am the one who tends to worry too much. She should try watching over that man! I'd like her not to worry then!_

When Roy came into the station a few minutes later, Cap called him into his office.

"Don't worry, Roy. Nothing's wrong. Johnny isn't feeling too good, so he called into."

Sighing, Roy was wondering if it was still the same 'something' that was bothering Johnny before.

"Any idea who my replacement is?" Roy dreaded the answer, but forewarned was forearmed.

"Dwyer said he'd be here in about thirty minutes or so," Cap smiled over at him. "And don't worry, I made sure John knew to call her or one of our wives if he needed anything. Sounds just like a cold starting."

"Thanks," Roy said gratefully. "I'll check in and see how he's doing later today. I should go get changed for roll call."

Nodding, Captain Stanley turned back to work on some paperwork as Roy left. For once, the day was unusually slow and considering the worry Roy felt for his partner, he was glad that was the case. After lunch time, he made a call to Johnny.

"What?" he snapped, cursing whoever decided to bug him.

"Sorry, just wanted to check up on you," Roy was worried as it wasn't like his partner to snap immediately when answering the phone.

"Sorry, just tired, I'm fine, alright?" Johnny bit back a sigh, leaning back into his pillows. All he wanted at that moment was to find a way off the phone to get some rest.

"Are you sure you're fine? You weren't feeling too good a couple days ago either and I just wanted…"

"Just haven't been sleeping well. If someone would let me, I might actually get caught up!" Johnny cut Roy off, frustration clear in his voice.

"Ok, ok," Roy backed off. "Let me or Jo know if you need anything ok?"

"Yea," Johnny sighed. "Sorry. I'll see you in a couple days alright?"

Giving in, Roy agreed before hang-up. Although Johnny had had insomnia in the past, it just seemed like something more was going on. He just couldn't quite put his finger on what though. At least the crew only had 24 hours off between shifts this time. If nothing else, he would either see Johnny in three days or he would have a reason to stop by. Although, he may just do that anyway. With that plan in mind, Roy headed off to his assign task.

When the alarm sounded to alert Johnny to the fact he had to get up for his shift a few days later, he hit the thing so hard it went flying off the night stand. Groaning, he reluctantly got up, knowing if he missed this shift, Roy and the Cap would be on his case to get checked out.

_If I just could get some sleep, this stupid headache would go away. Then I would feel better._ Johnny rationalized, delaying getting out of bed. Soon, he knew he was running late and that did not help his mood at all. Finally, after a few missed turns that he knew, _just knew_, were due to the fact he was tired, Johnny made it into work with ten minutes to spare.

"Morning Johnny," Roy greeted.

Grunting, Johnny just pulled open his locker, only to be soaked by one of the Phantom's water balloons. Seeing Chet standing there smirking at him and starting to open his mouth to say something smart, something inside seemed to snap.

"You son of a -! I am so dam tired of your stupid, childish pranks! This was the last time!" Johnny ranted, heading for Chet, intent on teaching him a lesson.

Fear in his eyes, Chet backed up quickly, tripping over the bench in the way. Only the fact that Roy was able to grab Johnny stopped him in his tracks.

"Johnny!" Roy turned him around to face him. Still seeing Johnny out of it, he tried again. "John! Stop it. It is not worth it."

"I am sick and tired of him! Every time I turn around, I run around into yet another stupid water bomb, or flour bomb, or something else happens! It's all because of him and his hatred towards me and I am tired of it!" Johnny ranted towards Roy, unaware that Roy had kept his grip on his arms or made him sit down. He was also unaware the Mike and Marco had gotten Chet up and out of the locker room as quickly as possible.

"John!" Roy practically shouted. "John Gage! Knock it off! Chet it not worth it! He does not hate you! He…"

As quickly as the rage had overpowered Johnny, it left him. He was breathing hard and his head was pounding even more.

"John," Roy questioned. "Johnny, you okay?"

Now even more worried about his friend, Roy tried to look at Johnny direct but Johnny was having now of that.

"I'm fine. I just haven't been sleeping and it's causing me to have this stupid headache. On top of that, I am so tired of dealing with Kelly! I don't know what the heck I did to him, but I wish he would knock it off!" Johnny tried explaining as he quickly dressed, knowing Cap would be having roll call in a few short minutes.

"Look, Johnny, you haven't been feeling good for a few days. Maybe you should let me take you to Rampart, get you checked out. Make sure you aren't coming down with something. You know how easy it is for you…"

"To come down with something now that I have no spleen. Yea, yea, I know!" Johnny finished, getting up to leave the locker room.

"So, you'll let me take you?" Roy asked hopefully, knowing logically it couldn't be that easy.

**Station 51 Structure Fire 1305 East 215th Street 1-3-0-5 East 215th Street, Cross Street Weisier Avenue Time Out: 07:58**

"No time, Cap already told the other shift we'd take over," Johnny stated, relieved. It seemed in the rush of adrenaline, his headache disappeared along with the exhaustion.

Racing to the squad as the rest of the crew went to the engine, they heard Cap call in, "KMG-365," before handing the slips of paper with the information to Roy. Passing it Johnny, he pulled out of the station and followed the directions to the fire.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: <strong>Captain Hookrader comes from Season 6, Episode 8: Captain Hook. (Thanks IMDb!)


	4. Blast

Upon reaching the one story house, the two paramedics could see a small crowd standing outside. Quickly jumping out of the squad, Johnny ran to grab the hose and wrapped it around the hydrant. Shaking off a wave of dizziness, he loosened the steamer cap as fast as possible. Thankfully, the dizziness went away quickly as Johnny fastened the hose to the hydrant. Shrugging off the dizziness as a result of whatever bug he might be getting, Johnny opened the valve not realizing he missed the first signal to release the water pressure. With that complete, he went back to the squad to grab his SCBA, positive that the crowd and time of day that someone was likely to be still in the house.

Making his way over to where Cap and Roy was talking with someone, Johnny heard the last of the conversation.

"...came out, the garage door was still closed. I know she had to take her daughter to an appointment early this morning so they have to be still home, please do something!" the neighbor woman pleaded.

"Yes ma'am. Do you know where in the house they might be?" Roy asked.

"No," she shook her head.

"Alright, wait over there, my men will go search for them," Cap told her. Seeing that she was out of earshot, he quickly conferred with his two paramedics.

"What do you think, Johnny? Go in through the garage?" Roy asked.

"Probably the only place they have a shot at this point."

"Chet and Marco haven't spotted anyone in the house yet," Cap added. "Go, but make it fast. And be careful!"

"Got it Cap!" Roy voiced as he put on his mask. Johnny just simply followed Roy's actions, too tired to speak and too focused to want to delay any further energy towards acknowledging the orders.

Moving into the two car garage, the partners were slightly stunned by the sight. It seemed as though the woman and child were in the car, which was about the only good thing at this point. A support beam and some of the items from a small storage space near the ceiling had collapsed, causing a pile-up front of the garage door. Without the K-12 cutting a small area for them to duck through, the two of them wouldn't have been able to make it in. Being in the car prevented the two victims from debris as well as some of the smoke that was quickly filling the small garage. Unfortunately, it seemed they had less time than expected as there were some gas cans stored beneath the workshop bench along the back wall. Roy just shook his head at the stupidity of some people.

Refocusing quickly, he and Johnny made it to the car. Between the two of them, they were able to pull open the front passenger door. Seeing flames starting to coat the wall separating the garage and the house, Roy knew the two of them had to move fast. Reaching in for the driver, he found a pulse.

"She's alive!" Roy shouted. Checking her over for spinal damage, a head injury, or broken bones, Roy came to the conclusion it was more than likely heat and smoke that cause her to pass out. Thankfully, she wasn't trapped, so after unbuckling her seat belt, he carefully grabbed her before backing out.

Putting her over his shoulders, he told Johnny, "Get the kid and get out fast. I'll be at the entrance if you need me. There's not much time!"

"Got it," Johnny acknowledged as Roy turned away to the opening and he went into the car. Finding the kid was actually somewhat awake, he began talking to her as he examined her.

"Hi honey. My name is Johnny. I'm a fireman and a paramedic. My partner there who was just here is going to take care of your mom. Then come back and help us. We'll get you out of here. Don't you worry, darlin'," he practically cooed. Helping her across the front seat, he gave her some oxygen from his mask. Feeling the heat building up even more, he knew there wasn't much time, but since she had a broken left arm, he knew he had to be careful with his precious package. Finally reaching the passenger door, Johnny began backing out with her cradled in his arms, still sharing the oxygen mask, although truth be told, he wasn't getting much use out of it.

_Worth it in my opinion, _he thought_._

As Johnny reached the garage door, Roy was there to grab the young girl. As Roy hustled away with her, Johnny began to go through the opening feet first so he could see when he needed to duck as his vision seemed to be getting a bit fuzzy.

_Who knew whacking your head on a car roof could hurt so much?_ Johnny wondered to himself. _Didn't think I hit it that hard. Oh, well._

Just as he tucked his head down towards his chest and went to make the last step outside, a loud **_BOOM_** sounded. Everyone on scene looked up, knowing that the fire had just reached the gas cans and had hoped Johnny cleared the garage enough to duck.

All Johnny was aware of was a tremendous noise that sent unending shock waves through his body before pain hit him full forth and he was launched into the air. Seconds before his world exploded into a bright light, he thought he heard screaming, but before he could gather his thoughts, he slipped away into blessed darkness.

Wanting to rush towards Johnny, but knowing his duty was to his two civilian patients, Roy cursed inside. Setting the young girl down by her mother, he smiled at her and immediately got her on oxygen. Seeing the obvious fracture in her arm, he grabbed a splint to set it. Taking her vitals, he called into Rampart, hoping he could convince the doctor on the line to let him get to his partner.

"Rampart, this is Squad-51, how do you read?"

A few seconds that seemed like hours passed before Roy heard Brackett reply, "Go ahead, 51."

"Rampart, we have three victims, two females and one code I. The two females were trapped in a car inside a smoke-filled garage for an undetermined amount of time. The first female is about age 30, was initially unconscious, suspect that it was due to smoke inhalation and heat as no head wounds are apparent. She is now conscious. Vitals are: Pulse 110, Resps 24, BP 110/80. Pupils equal and reactive, no other signs of trauma. Victim two is 10 and was semi-conscious, now fully concussion. Pulse 125, Resps 26, BP 120/70. Her left ulna and radius are broken, they have been set. Code I is…" here Roy faltered. "It's Johnny, doc. Right now, Marco and Chet are with him, doing the best to help him but he isn't moving. There was an explosion and it blew him back about five feet or so…"

"Alright, Roy, I understand," Dr. Brackett took a breath. He hated it whenever a friend got hurt and it seemed Johnny was one who did so frequently. He knew it had to be even harder on Roy; the friendship those two had went far beyond the range of normal friendship. They were more like brothers than anything. "Set up D5W TKO on both females, give .5 mg morphine IV to the child if parental permission is available. Have Chet or Marco keep an eye on them and report vitals while you see to Johnny."

"Thanks doc. The mother has verbally agreed to treatment. That's D5W on both, .5 mg morphine IV for youngest. Squad-51."

Putting down the phone, Roy called for Marco, knowing Chet would want to help in any way with Johnny. Despite the pranks and bickering, the two were still good friends. Explaining what Bracket wanted, Roy pulled out the equipment he thought he might need. Cap had already called for another station and was helping keep the fire from getting out of control with Marco's help. Thankfully, it sounded as if the station was close, so it shouldn't be too much longer before help arrived.

Seeing Johnny laying flat on his stomach, Roy's own stomach knotted in fear.

"Chet?"

"Hasn't moved, hasn't even tried to move yet," Chet explained, looking up fearfully. "I took his scissors, got his pants and shirt cut up as much as possible so I could put some pressure bandages where I could, but…"

"You did good," Roy said softly, taking over.

"I just didn't want to move him, you know? He just had hit his head so hard and…" Stunned by the picture of Johnny being forcefully expelled from the garage and then it seemed that Johnny would never land. After words, he skidded on his back a few more feet before finally coming to a stop.

"I know," Roy too was trying to shake his own memories. His were of the noises: the loud bang, Johnny screaming before it was abruptly cut short. The yells of everyone else and the final _thud_ of what he assumed was Johnny landing.

Deciding to revert to his 'paramedic role' as Johnny would call it, Roy set about with his grim task. Grabbing the neck brace from the trauma box, he gently and quickly slipped it on Johnny. Taking Johnny's vitals, Roy called them out to Chet to record. Roy removed Johnny's shoes carefully and noticed the swelling in the right ankle immediately. Getting a split, he carefully put that over the ankle. It felt broken, but he couldn't be sure. Making sure that Chet took note of that as well, Roy winced in sympathy as he noticed the various burn marks, cuts, scrapes and bruises.

Putting even more pressure bandages on the larger and deeper puncture wounds, he made sure the bleeding was as controlled as possible before asking for a burn kit. Realizing Chet wasn't the one who handed it to him as expected, but instead it was his Cap, Roy tried to hide his shock.

"Thanks," Roy murmured, before continuing on with his task of triaging Johnny.

"Another ambulance just arrived for him. Squad 36 took over your two patients. The other engine is working on the fire. Anything we can do?" Cap asked quietly. These were not just his co-workers, but his family. He hated seeing any of them hurt, but for some reason, it was worse when it was John. Maybe it was because he was the youngest at age 30 or because he reminded him of an overgrown kid. Either way, it seemed like Cap was not the only one hovering around, waiting to help.

"Can you help make sure the bandages don't move?" Roy asked, knowing full well that it was a pointless task as the sheet covering Johnny after the saline was poured on would do the same. However, he knew that his crew needed to do something to feel useful, even if was something so simple.

"Okay, let's get him on the backboard. Count of five," on that command, the five of them gently rolled Johnny onto the waiting backboard, producing a slight moan from him.

"Johnny?" Roy quickly asked. He got out his penlight and observed how Johnny's pupils reacted to light. Both were dilated and moving sluggishly, which was not a good sign at all. Checking out his ribs, he noticed that once again, Johnny had managed to damage his ribs. Probably had broken at least a few. At least his lungs sounded fairly clear and he had managed to avoid puncturing a lung while doing so. Pushing on Johnny's belly, he was relieved to find it soft, indicating that there was probably no internal bleeding. Except for the fact he was still unconscious, Johnny seemed to get off lightly considering.

_Now, if he would just wake up!_ Roy thought as he ran his knuckles over Johnny's sternum. Although a faint moan came forth, the eyes remained closed and his body remained unnaturally still.

"Rampart, this is Squad 51."

"Go ahead Roy," Brackett quickly replied, meaning he had stood by the hospitals base station. Seeing Joe Early, he rapped on the door, and waved to him. Entering, Joe was about to ask what was going on when he heard Roy respond.

"Doc, Johnny has various puncture wounds, some deep, as well as scratches and bruises all along the back of his legs and back. I put pressure bandages on 'em and then because of the various spots of first, second and possible third degree marks, I just put a sterile sheet over and covered it with water. His right ankle looks broken, is splinted. We have him on a back board. No sign of bumps on his head. No signs of fluids in mouth or noses. A couple of ribs that are probably broken. No sign of internal bleeding. Still isn't conscious and has been unconscious for about 15 minutes. Pupils are dilated and sluggish. Doesn't react to voices but did react slightly when we moved him to the backboard and when I did a sternal rub. Nothing since then. I have him on 15 liters of O2. Has signs of minor smoke inhalation. I patched him up on the EKG. Vitals are as followed. Pulse 65, BP 160/110, Reps are 22. This will be lead 2." Roy flipped the switch.

"Reading sinus tach. Start D5W, TKO. Transport immediately."

Repeating back the instructions, Roy set up what was needed and signed off.

"Looks like we have our work cut out for us," Joe said.

"Yes we do," Kel said grimly. "Dixie, get treatment 2 ready for Johnny. Get x-rays down here and put an OR on stand-by. I don't like the sound of the head injury."

"Neither do I," Joe said. "I'll be sure to clear my schedule."

"Thanks."

"Not a problem, Kel. He's one of ours."

With that, the three of them left to get ready for the arrival of John Gage, knowing that the next ten minutes would be filled with anxious thoughts and moments.


	5. Confusion

Repeating the vitals check on his friend, Roy was relieved to see that they were at least unchanged. Although it would be better if they improved, at least they weren't getting worse.

_Now, if he would just open his eyes or something! For someone who can't stay still, he is way too still._

"Johnny, I know you're in there somewhere. I know you are hurting real bad," Roy said, taking his hand and gently squeezing it, thankful they were less than five minutes out from the hospital. "But it would help if you would just let me know you are in there. If you could squeeze my hand or something, please?"

Roy sighed, figuring it was pointless. If there was one thing he knew about his partner, he never did things the easy way and he did things when he felt like them. Seeing the ambulance pull into the driveway, he started to recheck the vitals one last time when he thought he heard something.

Pulling out the stethoscope from his ears, he asked quietly, "Johnny?"

Waiting a few seconds, he shook his head, sure he was imaging things. Just as he got ready to put the stethoscope back in however, he saw Johnny's lips moving.

"Daaadddd…." Johnny partly whispered, partly mumbled and partly slurred, confused about where he was and what was going on.

"Johnny, its okay. We're at Rampart. You're going to be ok," Roy reassured him as the doors to the back of the ambulance opened.

"What's going on, Roy?" Dr. Early asked.

"He asked something, I think about his dad, not sure," he said, climbing from the back of the ambulance as he helped with the stretcher. Entering into the hospital, Dixie directed them immediately into treatment two before following. "Vitals are unchanged. He hadn't awoken before and didn't even open his eyes or move."

"Looks like he is out again," Dr. Brackett commented. "Dix, let's get the x-rays right away and some new vitals."

While Dixie was on the phone to ensure that x-ray was on its way, Roy moved into get the vital signs. This time, as the blood pressure cuff tightened, he could see Johnny moving his lips again. Finishing up as fast as possible, he repeated the unchanged vitals.

"Johnny, can you open your eyes?" Dr. Brackett asked. He opened one lid with his finger and shined a light into the eye.

Both eyes of Johnny's eyes suddenly popped open. Trying to move and finding he couldn't, he began screaming for help. Dr. Brackett had backed away as soon as the screaming started, while Roy tried reassuring him, but nothing worked. It wasn't until Johnny ran out of energy a few minutes later that his panic stricken cries ended.

"Da, ma? Where yous? Help?" Johnny whimpered in terror, still shaking with fright.

"Johnny…" Dr. Brackett began.

"NO!" Johnny shouted, struggling to get away again. When that didn't work, he just began crying and shaking hard in terror. "Leave 'lone. Do no any. GO 'WAY! Want ma, da. Pls' me home."

Brackett immediately backed up and went by the other three.

"Joe, what do you think is going on? I mean, I've seen head injuries cause speech problems before, but quite honestly, this seems a bit more than that. In fact, I don't believe I have ever seen something like this before."

"I've only seen in it a few times in my career, but honestly, in those cases it was due to muli-head traumas in a short time period. He obviously has some sort of head injury now, but I have never seen or heard of this happening just due to a single injury. I suppose it's possible, but…" Joe mused.

"What do you do you think is going on?" Roy asked between his teeth, his patience near the end, his frustration and fear seeing his best friend like this making him want to shake the doctors for answers.

"Why don't we try to get x-rays of his head first and a CT scan? Then, while we are waiting for the results, I will explain what I am thinking, okay? I'd like some time to think anyway. But right now, we need to remain calm for him and take it slow. Be patient. It seems like right now, he doesn't remember us, nor does he remember anything before his parents were alive. And Roy, do you know when his parents died? That might give us a frame of reference for his mindset."

"God, I don't know for sure… I know his aunt took him in when he was around eleven. But it took a few years to track her down, so that means, he had to be what, eight, maybe seven years old? I honestly am not sure," Roy sighed and shook his head in disbelief. "You mean to tell me that in his head, he still thinks they are alive and that he believes he is still that young?"

"Unfortunately, yes. Roy, he responded to your voice before, why don't you try now. Go slow and take it easy. I don't want to have to sedate him if we don't have to. Kel, I suggest you stay away right now. Dixie, you might help as well, but right now, just let Roy explain who we are and what is happening, okay? Let's see if this will work."

"I'll do my best doc," Roy whispered, scared for Johnny.

Approached the gurney where Johnny was still crying, as well as shaking, Roy could see he was trying to look around as much as possible. A few feet away, Roy stopped.

"Hey Johnny. My name is Roy. I know this must all be scary for you, huh?" Taking a few steps closer when he saw Johnny look towards him, Roy continued. "You had an accident. You hit your head pretty hard. I know some first aid stuff so I went with you to the hospital here."

"Hos'ital?" Johnny asked. "Clinic? Go home. Mama, where, go…" The last few words were stuttered as his fear seemed to grow. "No bad, go."

"Shh, shh, it's ok. A hospital is like a clinic, but they have doctors who can do some more things," Roy came next to his gurney. "You can't move so that the doctors can make sure you are okay. That is why, not because you are bad, ok? Just so everyone here knows you are fine. We know you hurt your ankle pretty bad. You have some scratches and bruises on your back that need to be looked at too. And since you hit your head pretty hard, you were unconscious for a while, so…"

"Un…con…" Johnny tried sounding out the word, still afraid but his curiosity was poking through now.

"Unconscious," Roy repeated, smiling slightly, as he patted Johnny's hand. Grateful he didn't flinch, he wrapped his hand around Johnny's and was relieved when it was held onto tightly. "It means you went to sleep without meaning to. Something hit your head hard enough to do that to you."

"Wow! Ma da too?"

"No, they just can't be here right now," desperately trying to figure out a way to dodge the topic, Roy decided to indulge the natural curiosity Johnny must have. "See this tube here?"

Upon noticing Johnny's nod yes, Roy went on to explain the tubes and wires going on and in Johnny's body, while the two doctors and Dixie looked on in fascination.

"I always knew they were more like brothers, but this is something else…" Dixie whispered, not wanting to break the spell. Doctor Early and Brackett were quick to agree.

"While Roy is busy distracting him, I am going to go get x-ray, explain things to them. Also, I am going to get that CT set up. Let me know what happens, but I think I will let you two handle this, unless you need me," Kel said, also quietly.

"Will do," Joe agreed, watching Kel walk out the door, knowing it wasn't easy for the man to turn over the care of a friend. Even if it was to him.

Hearing Roy explain how a 'Doctor Early' and a 'Nurse Dixie' wanted to look at him, Joe and Dix slowly approached the bed.

"It's okay, Johnny," Roy soothed, brushing the hair from his eyes. Frowning, he realized there was a small lump there. Brushing aside the hair more, he nodded towards the bump as it was revealed. Seeing the bruising, Roy realized it hadn't taken place today and was at least a few days old. Switching gears, he went back to explaining what was going to take place.

"Okay, Johnny, as promised, we will let you know what will happen to you, okay?"

"Ev'n half?"

"What do you mean, sweetie?" Dixie asked, confused and a bit concerned.

"No whate, red, buth…"

"Ahhh," Dixie said, trying not to let tears form. "Well honey, I don't care what color you are. You could be purple or orange or green or even be lots of colors all at once and I would still like you from what I know about you."

At that thought, a small smile appeared on his face and afterwards, Johnny didn't mind when Dixie to come by his gurney. When Dr. Early told him that it was a good thing she didn't mind those who were part green, since he was part Irish, Johnny thought it might be possible that they just liked him for him.

"Wat, hows you me see?" he questioned, weary again. "You stange."

"You came here to live a while ago. We met you then. Right now because of the bump on your head, you forgot some stuff. It will be fine though," Roy assured him.

Johnny yawned as he tried to nod. Finding out he couldn't, he began panicking again.

"Go!" he shouted, forget why he couldn't move. "MA! DA!"

When neither of his parents appeared, he began crying. "No bad, ma, da, go…"

"Honey, its okay, its okay…" Dixie tried soothing. "I know it's scary, but right now we don't want you to move so we have you taped to a board. Just like…well, I'm not sure, what would you tape down so it doesn't move?"

Sniffling, Johnny thought before answering, "Floor."

"There you go then," Dixie said, as he calmed himself down. Wiping his nose for him, she asked if he was ready for Doctor Early to start looking him over. When he told her it was fine, Roy patiently explained each step and what would happen before anything was done, even answering the many questions Johnny had. It seemed even as at a young age, he was just as curious as he was now.

_At least it helps keep him awake!_ Roy thought in relief.

As the x-ray tech came in, Johnny again became scared despite being told what would be done. He had never seen such a machine before and it made a lot of noise.

"It's okay, Johnny," Roy soothed again. "It's just Jack. He is going to take pictures of the inside of your body, so that Doctor Early can see your bones. Isn't that cool?"

"Don't worry, Jack," Dr. Early smiled at Jack and patted him as he stepped out of the way. "Johnny got knocked around fairly well, so he is having some issues. Just let Roy know what you are about to do ahead of time and he will explain it to Johnny. After that, when Roy tells you Johnny's ready, you can go ahead and do what is needed. That will help everyone out."

"Roy," Johnny tried whispering, knowing his dad would think what he was about to say was rude. But he couldn't help it; it was amazing! "To'ch black, 'fraid?"

Smiling, Doctor Early looked down at Johnny and held his other hand. "Johnny, what Dixie and I said was true. We know you and like you just because you are you. We like Jack because we know Jack is a good person. Color doesn't matter. In fact, we have a Doctor here who is black."

"Reals?" Johnny seemed astounded by this.

"Yep," Dixie confirmed, eyes sparkling. "If someone can do the job, wants to do the job, than they can."

"So, I old firemen?" Johnny's own eyes were sparkling now. However, when everyone started laughing and smiling, his own smile went away. "Think no."

Roy was glad he could practically read his partner's mind, even if he wasn't quite himself at this moment, "No, Johnny, it's just that, yes, you can be. It's just great that you want to be. Now, how about we get those x-rays done?"

Nodding his head with a weak grin, Johnny prepared himself for the next round of what he thought of as 'torture'. As long as it got him out of here and back to his parents though, he didn't care what happened.

An hour later the results were in and Johnny had nodded off to sleep. Roy slipped outside the exam room and headed to the doctors lounge where he was told to meet Doctor Brackett and Doctor Early, leaving Johnny in the care of Dixie. Getting a cup of coffee, he sat down at the table with the two doctors.

"So what's the verdict?"

"First, do you know when that older bump on his forehead occurred?" Dr. Early asked.

"No, truth be told, I didn't notice it until we were in the exam room," sighing, Roy sipped his coffee. "Honestly, if I had to guess, it a few days ago, although what happened and when, I have no idea. It's just a few things that have happened since Jenny's birthday party were adding up and I was going to try to take him in today to see one of you."

"What symptoms?

"Well, a few days ago, after he got back from getting ice cream from the store, he said he was starving, but Chris said he didn't fill up his plate like he usually does and then didn't eat everything on it. And we all know how unusual that is."

Nods came from both doctors. It seemed like Johnny had a bottomless pit somewhere where food went. Whenever he wasn't hungry, than it was time to be concerned.

"Then, Chris again pointed out he was sacked out on a chair almost asleep. Johnny looked so tired, I told him he could stay in his room, but he just said he wanted to go home. Even left early."

"Did he seem tired before that?" Dr. Brackett asked.

"No, he seemed his normal, hyper-active self. Well, you know what I mean," Roy blushed, knowing he shouldn't have said that last thought out loud.

Dr. Early just smiled as he did know normal didn't exactly cover John Gage. Dr. Brackett just frowned more.

"Anything else?" Dr. Brackett asked. Sure, those things were odd for Johnny, but not enough cause to warrant what they believed was going on.

"You know he called in sick last shift? He said he thought he was just coming down with the flu or something. He claimed to just be really tired since he wasn't sleeping well. Johnny told Cap that he felt dizzy, but wasn't too worried since it was typical when he became so tired and had a headache. I guess he also felt sick but caulked that up to the dizziness. But despite that, he just seemed, well, off…" Roy struggled to explain things. "He just seemed like anything could set him off. Then, today at work, the phantom struck and Johnny just, I don't know. He started yelling, cursing, and actually would have gone after Chet I think if I hadn't stopped him. Took him a few minutes to calm down, but he did. He just said that he was tired and was causing a headache. He didn't look right but wouldn't let me examine him. By the time we got dressed and I was thinking of heading to Cap's, the Klaxon's went off. You know the rest."

Sighing, Dr. Early thought he knew did know what was going on now. Unfortunately, how to address the problem and how to fix the problem, as well as tell Roy were going to be far from easy.

"It's not good is it Doc?" Roy asked, looking deep into his coffee cup, not wanting to see their eyes.

"It depends on a few things actually," Dr. Early started expounding.

"Should I call Jo to be here before you explain things?"

"Might be best," Dr. Brackett put in. "I can tell you right now, it would be best if we put him under sedation in order to help him. There is one thing we know for sure and that is that John will need surgery."

Taking a deep breath, Roy got up to call his wife. While he waited, he cautiously woke up Johnny and let him know that a medication was going to make him sleep and when he woke up, he might have a tube down his throat. No one was sure right now how much Johnny was understanding, but hopefully, knowing ahead of time would mean less anxiety and less fear for him later.


	6. Questions

Twenty minutes later, Joanne came straight into the doctor's lounge as asked and wrapped her arms tightly around her husband. This was the first time he had ever asked her to come in before being told what was going on with Johnny and it wasn't sitting well at all with her. Sitting down, holding hands, they looked towards Dr. Early.

"So," Jo took a breath. "What's going on with our boy?"

Smiling slightly, glad that Johnny had such caring people as them listed as his next of kin, Dr. Early began laying out what was happening.

"First of all, let me remind you, that everything is sort of up in the air. The brain is still quite a mystery, but based on previous cases I've had and studied, there is a pattern to what I have found and observed.

"Right now, Dr. Brackett and I are fairly sure that Johnny somehow received a mild to moderate conscious about four or five days ago. That day you said he wasn't acting quite right?" Seeing Roy nod, he continued on. "It appears that he had mild bleeding from that incident based on the x-ray images. The bleeding had caused some swelling, but all that I could see that remained was a hint of it in the area of the old bleed. It was resolving itself and if it wasn't for what happened today, it is likely that Johnny would have recovered. Yes, it would have been a slower recovery time without medical help to make sure that the bleeding didn't cause any more issues, but then again, it wouldn't be the first time something like this has happened to someone without their knowledge.

"However, being knocked around like he was today with that explosion more or less caused his brain to be shaken around a quite a bit. It caused a lot of swelling and more bleeding. The bleeding needs to be taken care of soon as it is causing the swelling to worsen and if it isn't taken care of soon, permanent damage could be done. Johnny also has contusions, or what is commonly known as bruises, on his brain from the head injuries."

"Oh, God," breathed Joanne. "So what does this mean? Will he be okay?"

"Right now, we have him under sedation and we will get him up to surgery soon. After which, we will keep him in a medically induced coma for the next three days as we feel that that is the best thing for him. It will hopefully allow him the rest he needs for his brain to heal. In a few days, we will decrease the sedation rate and get him off the vent to see how he is.

"We will need to put him on steroids for about a week to help with the swelling. Once the swelling has decreased to a certain safe level, John will be slowly pulled off of them to see how he does without them. The first way we be monitoring the swelling is during surgery, a shunt that monitors that internal pressure will be inserted. Since we are just using bur holes to drain the blood and blood clots, it won't be difficult to do so. The next way we will do is x-rays and those will be taken at least once a day for the next four days. After that, every couple days for a few days after or as needed. We will also be using something called a C.T. or CAT Scan*. This is something new that Rampart has gotten and although it takes several hours to get a picture, it helps doctors see more of a three-dimensional image of the brain and the soft tissue.

"Dr. Brackett is suturing up the cuts and ensuring the burns are treated before the surgery. The burns are minor, mostly first degree with a few spots of second degree and one area of third degree. They should heal fairly quickly and are located mostly on the back of his leg. Johnny's ankle was fractured, as well as his foot, so after surgery, when the swelling goes down a bit, the orthopedic specialist will put a cast on his foot and ankle. It should heal within six to eight weeks. The fourth and fifth rib are just cracked while the sixth is fractured," pausing, Doctor Early steeled himself for what he was going to say next, knowing that it would be the most difficult to hear for Joanne.

"Before he was given the sedation, he wasn't sure of where he was, who anyone around him was or how old he was. He thought his parents were still alive and that, with the tone of voice and vocabulary makes us think he was acting around five or six years old."

Closing her eyes, Joanne couldn't even begin to imagine the terror Johnny must have felt at waking up in a strange place to people he didn't know. Considering that her children would either love meeting new people or be terrified of them depending on how they felt on a given day, she could only imagine how scared he must have been. And Roy! The only good thing she could see was that he was a paramedic and used to dealing with the unexpected. Joanne knew that his heart had to be breaking for Johnny though. Those two had to have been connected somehow in a past life considering how close they are.

Choking back a sob, she asked, "What do we do now?"

"What happens if nothing changes when he wakes up?" Roy acts, petrified.

"Right now, the only thing we can do, is wait and pray," Dr. Early said sadly. He hated this situation as well and wished there was something he could do. "Hopefully, once we get the blood removed, the swelling will go away quickly. The bruising will heal over time, just as any bruise would. Unfortunately, the bruising could take a while and this is where we run into a problem."

"Problem?" Roy cleared his throat. _What else could go wrong?_

"Usually," Dr. Early held up his hand to emphasize this point. "Usually, the swelling or bruising is what causing this age regression. If it is the swelling, with the medications we would like to give Johnny that should go away in a few days. However, if it is the bruising that is the cause, it could take longer."

"How long?" Roy asked, not sure he really wanted to know.

"It depends on how long the bruises take to heal; if they take too long to heal, the damage could be permanent. It also depends on where the bruise is located as there are a few of them in various areas. Different areas of the brain affect different aspects, such as language, memory or whatnot," Dr. Early explained quietly. "We're not at that point though, so right now, let's just focus on now, okay?"

Nodding their heads, Joanne and Roy asked to see Johnny before his surgery. Allowing it, Dr. Early said that they should get as much rest as possible as he would like Roy in Johnny's room when they started weaning him off the sedation.

Agreeing quickly, the two were shown into the treatment room. Before he was moved upstairs to the surgery, Jo gave him a kiss and told him to hang on, that they would be there. It was going to be a very long three days.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:<strong>

C.T. Scan's were invented by Godfrey Hounsfield in EMI Laboratories, England and Allan Cormack of Tufts University, Massachusetts. When C.T. Scans first were invented, it would take hours for the scan and days to get the results of the scan. Robert S. Ledley was issued a patent for the CAT Scan on November 25, 1975. Around 1980, when this story takes place (see below for explanation), C.T. Scans were finally starting to become widely used by hospitals even though the images were not always the best and often fuzzy. They were however still useful for looking at soft tissue.


	7. Waiting

For Roy, the next three days past by almost too quickly, while at the same time crawling past. So many questions were racing through his mind, though he didn't voice them out loud. What he didn't realize was that Joanne was thinking so many of the same thoughts. Johnny was such a huge part of their family for both them and their children. Despite Dr. Early telling him to rest, no matter how willing his body was, his mind was far from cooperative.

All Roy could do was think of the same questions, over and over: What if Johnny didn't recover? What if something happened and the worse came to worse, how would they all deal with it? **What would happen _if he did_ wake up? **What if Johnny was stuck in his past forever? Where would he go? How would the kids react? How would Johnny react if he did recover, but only partly? What if Johnny couldn't be part of the paramedics anymore and realized it? **_How? If?_** keep spinning inside his head.

Roy kept Captain Stanley updated, but considering nothing much was changing and all anyone could do was wait, he didn't feel like he was doing much at all. He tried helping Joanne with the household chores, but half the time, ended up staring off into space or wandering off. It was easier when the kids were home as they demanded their dad's attention. They sensed something was happening and wanted the reassurance that at least things were normal at home.

Joanne had much the same issues as Roy did. She too had many of the same questions Roy had and her mind kept wondering back to the first days when she met him. Even though Johnny had avoided coming home with Roy for quite a while, after finding out that Roy had chosen him for a partner, she had insisted on meeting him. According to Roy, it was a tough sell because he didn't want to bother her considering the fact Jennifer had just been born. Remembering back to their first meeting, Joanne still wished she could have done it over. At first, she thought that was kind of him to think of her and the kids before he entered her home. Roy had never told her how old Johnny was and the fact that he had finished near the top of his paramedic class didn't factor into her opinion. Jo had actually asked him how old he was and was surprised that he was just four years younger than Roy at 21 years of age. Unlike Roy, he had entered into the fire service at 18 whereas Roy had spent 2 years in the military before joining*.

However, despite her somewhat snobbish attitude towards him, he was unfailing polite. Johnny did seem uncomfortable with the kids and Chris wasn't too sure what to make of him either. When Roy placed Jenny in his arms, claiming he needed 'field practice', she almost scolded the both of them, but was too stunned that her daughter didn't start yelling. Instead, she simply stared at him, almost daring him to move. She watched as he just stared back and something inside of him seemed to unlock a bit as he smiled at Jenny.

_If they had a bonding moment, that would have surely been it since she grabbed his finger as best as she could and didn't want to let go,_ Joanne smiled at the remembered mental picture. Even Chris seemed to sense the change. It still was a while until he felt comfortable around us, but if anything, he came here for our kids.

In the end, the memories of the last decade of their lives with Johnny had both Roy and Joanne coming to the same conclusion: Some way, somehow, they would do their best to help Johnny live the best possible life. Neither one could foresee a life where Johnny wasn't in it in some way.

On the fourth day of Johnny's hospital stay, Roy was trying to eat breakfast with his family. Chris and Jenny had been wondering why he was home when he should be going to work and knowing the time had come, he tried to explain the situation.

_Although, how on earth am I to explain something I don't even understand?!_ Roy questioned himself.

"You both know Uncle Johnny got hurt at work the last shift," Roy saw their nods and continued on. "Well, he had to have brain surgery to remove some blood from his brain to help him heal. Although the doctors say that the surgery work, there is another problem. Johnny had bruises on his brain too, causing him to think he was younger, a lot younger, than he really is and the doctors have medicated him constantly, so he can hopefully heal."

"He will be okay, right dad?" Jenny asked, afraid and feeling younger than her age for the first time in a while.

"They aren't sure sweetie. They hope so, but until the docs see how Johnny is when he wakes up, they won't know if he is back to how he usually is. If he isn't, they aren't sure how long it might take for his brain to heal."

"But it will heal," Chris tried to sound confident, but was less than successful.

"Unfortunately, the doctors aren't sure yet. It depends on how fast the bruises heal. If it takes too long, it might mean that there is permanent damage," Roy honestly answered, figuring if his children were old enough to ask, they were old enough to hear an honest answer.

"But what does that mean," Chris asked.

"It could mean a lot of things, Chris. It could mean that Johnny thinks he is still young, it could mean speech problems, or it could mean other things. I honestly am not sure. I didn't ask many questions about what could happen. I was just told that where ever there is a bruise, there is a possibility that the issues he had when he was brought into the hospital could be permanent."

"So, Uncle Johnny thought he was young? Did he remember you at least dad?" Jenny was worried that he would forget about them. She didn't remember a time in her life without him and to even think about him not remembering those memories hurt.

"No, honey, he didn't. We, the doctors and I," he corrected. "Think that Johnny believed he was around seven years old or so based on some things he said. We weren't sure however. I was able to at least talk to him and help him be less afraid of what was taking place, so that is why I am going to the hospital right after lunch. That way, if he still doesn't remember, he will at least have one familiar face around."

Nodding her head, Jenny went and gave her dad a hug before giving her mom one. She just prayed Uncle Johnny was back to normal when he woke up.


	8. More Questions

It wasn't until just after breakfast on the fifth day before Johnny began to make movements. Immediately alerted, Roy began holding his hand, reassuring him that everything was okay, that it was okay to wake. Every time Roy felt Johnny move, he would just calmly repeated the same things. Just before noon, the brown eyes opened slowly.

Looking around the room, Johnny could not recognize anything. He began to struggle, setting off the vent alarm, scaring him more. Unfortunately for Johnny, Roy had chosen that moment for a bathroom break. Hearing the noise, he finished up quickly and hurried back in.

"Johnny, Johnny," Roy soothed, grabbing on to the flaying hand. "Its ok, its ok. Everything is okay. I'm here. I got you. Let the machine breath for you. I know you are confused. It's okay. Just relax."

The nurse working on the floor saw Roy had everything under control, and knowing about the possible situation, didn't bother to stop to check for vitals. Instead, she called downstairs to the ER to let Dr. Early and Dixie know Johnny was awake.

Five minutes late, both Dixie and Dr. Early enter slowly in hopes of not startling Johnny. Thankfully, he was focused on Roy and breathing with the machine. When Dr. Early got Roy's attention, Roy switched the focus from breathing to the doctor and nurse.

"Ok, Johnny, here's Doctor Early and Nurse Dixie again. They want to see how you are doing, okay? Maybe get that yucky tube out of your mouth?" Roy joked, knowing if Johnny was back to his old self, he would be teased relentlessly for a long time, but right now he didn't care. He would rather error on the side of caution. Besides, Johnny still wasn't acting right. Maybe he was just panicking since he couldn't remember anything.

_Yeah, and maybe pigs fly,_ Roy thought.

Taking the time and care to explain everything to Johnny, Roy held his hand, praying that things would be back to normal.

"Johnny, it looks like you can breathe good without any help. So we are going to take the tube from your mouth out, alright?" Dr. Early said to both Johnny and Roy. "It may hurt, but it will be worth it."

Leaving the explanation on just how it would be done to Roy, Dixie and Dr. Early got everything they needed to extubate.

"Ready, sweetheart?" Dixie asked.

Nodding, Johnny tried coughing as Dr. Early began pulling the tube. It hurt a lot as if felt as if they were trying to pull out his insides and after it was done, he ended up in tears. He curled up in a ball, feeling miserable and alone.

"What's wrong, Johnny," Roy gently prodded, rubbing his back.

"Mom and dad gone where. Want 'em," he rasped, his throat on fire for some reason unknown to him.

Looking up at Dr. Early, Roy didn't know what to do. At this point, Dr. Early came around and sat on the bed by Johnny.

"Hey, Johnny."

"Hi," was the meek reply.

"Can I ask you some questions?"

"'K, guess."

"Thanks," Dr. Early smiled at the pouting look on his face. Hopefully, the CT scan results from yesterday would be ready soon. Those, along with some questions, should help with the diagnoses.

"Can you tell me how old you are?"

"Seven," Johnny softly replied.

"Do you know where you are?"

"Clinic?"

"Close, it's a hospital. It's sort of like a hospital, but we have more things to help people here," Dr. Early explained. "Do you know what state you are in?"

"Oklahoma, duh…snows fallin' now."

"Ahhh, must be winter huh?" Dixie asked with a smile.

"Yep."

"So what month is it?" she asked. "I forgot."

"Like me?" he asked with wonder.

"Yep." she stated, smiling at him.

"It's November. Had birthday not long go."

"Cool. My birthdays in November," Roy said, glad to see Johnny was at least smiling a bit more.

"Really?"

"Yep, November 7. When's yours?"

"August 28."

"Wow."

"Yea. Is ma and dad coming soon?" Johnny went back to his original question. These _seemed _like nice people, but he wanted his parents.

Dr. Early, Dixie and Roy exchanged glances. None of them knew what to tell him. To Johnny, he was just a boy, in fact, in his mind, he had just turned seven and his parents were alive. How were they supposed to break the news that his parents were gone; in fact, they had died at least 20 years ago?

"Dr. Early, here are your results you wanted," the ICU nurse assigned to Johnny's case saved them all for at least a little bit longer.

"Johnny, we have to look at some pictures now. It will tell us something's about you and we can talk more later, ok?" Roy said, rubbing his back. Seeing the tears building in Johnny's eyes, he gave him a quick hug, pulling the blanket up and around him tight to tuck him in. "Try to rest some more. I will be back soon, I promise. Plus, I have someone who would like to meet you, okay?"

Nodding, Johnny tried to stop the tears and closed his eyes, happy to fall back asleep so he wouldn't have to think anymore.

In a consulting room, Dr. Early was going over the results of the CT scan when Roy walked in. He had just called Joanne and let her know that so far, no change was apparent, but she was more than welcome to come down.

"So, doc, what's new?"

"Unfortunately, not much, Roy," Dr. Early sighed as he slipped into a seat. "The swelling is so minimal a day, maybe two on the medication yet and we can start reducing the medications. Hopefully, within five days, Johnny can be off of the steroid completely."

"That means it is the bruising causing the regression."

"Yes, I am afraid so. Also, the bruises have had a chance to 'settle' as it were and are about as bad as they are going to get at this point. What I see is even worse than what I had suspected and I really am unsure what to do. I have called other neurosurgeons to consult on his cases, anonymously of course, but as of now, no medications will help. Only time is known to help settle the bruising.

"And with the amount and depth of bruising, well, I am honestly unsure how long this might last. The one thing I along with my colleagues are sure of however is that as long as there is no new trauma, eventually the bruises will heal. The damage left over in that case, however…"

"Is unknown. And you don't know how long it will last or how permanent the regression will be, right?" Roy stated back frustrated and scared.

Jo chose that moment to walk in, having heard her husband.

"Honey, we will get through this, somehow. We have to for Johnny."

"I know, but what do we do? He doesn't know where he is, he thinks its November, not May. He thinks he's still in Oklahoma. He thinks he just turned seven years old and is waiting to go home with his parents yet. How do we tell him he's in California and he's actually 30? What are we supposed to do if this last a while like Dr. Early seems to think? Where will he go? What will he do? What will _we _do?" All the stress, fear and frustration seemed to bubble over at that point. So many things were uncertain. "We called his aunt, she already said that there was no point in coming down and that everything was up to us. She has basically washed her hands of him."

Jo just gathered him up in his arms. She too was terrified, but what he didn't know is that she had talked to the kids last night about their Uncle Johnny.

Dr. Early chose that moment to offer them what he viewed as the logical choices, "Well, right now, he needs to stay in the ICU at least another couple of days before we move him to a regular floor. After that, we have another week and a half to figure things out since both Dr. Brackett and I want to ensure that all of his antibiotics are through IV, not mouth. Now, you are right, by then, I don't believe the problem will be solved. However, we have a week to find a nice place where they can take care of him, until he gets better or…"

"Or what? Or he wastes away in some type of nursing home?" Roy asked, furious.

"No, Roy. They have what is called an 'Adult Care Home' now. I am sure..."

"No!" This time it was Jo who interrupted with anger in her voice, startling both men who had rarely seen her angry. "With Roy's permission, and if Johnny is comfortable with the family, who we will let him meet over his time here, we will take him _HOME._ He belongs with us. I have already talked to Chris and Jenny. They asked what would happen to him and when I mentioned possibly putting him in such a place, they begged me to make sure it didn't happen. We all love him way too much for that to happen. He needs to be with family. They know it will mean things will be different, that they will have to be an older sibling to him, but as both stated, they have always wanted a younger sibling so might as well be one who they already love."

"Jo, are you sure? I mean, how would you handle basically three kids?" Roy was amazed at his family and loved them all the more.

"Well, I have already raised two seven year olds, at least this time, I know what to expect. If he never changes, I will love him just how he is. It is simple as that. He will have to follow the basic family rules and be a part of the family, but I really believe it could work."

"Well, doc, I think you heard my wife," Roy smiled smugly.

"It will be a lot of responsibility, Jo."

"I can learn whatever I need to. Roy only works one out of three days. I am sure I can manage, especially since the kids volunteered to help. Plus, I am sure others are more than willing to help. Even if not, I and Roy, don't care." Jo had glanced at Roy, seeing he was just as determined as she was to protect and fight for Johnny.

"I know Dr. Brackett was thinking about asking me to take on the paramedic training. It would mean I could be home every night and week night. I would still be able to take the promotion to captain that Johnny and I just found out we got," Roy saddened at the thought, knowing his friend may never get to realize his dream now. "Plus, I believe that this is a work related injury, correct?"

"Yes, that's right," Dr. Early said, reluctant to agree. "Why don't we just take things one day at a time right now? In a week's time, we should have a better time frame of how long it might be before the bruises might heal. I know how much you care about Johnny and accept him as one of the family, but I am not sure you understand what you might be undertaking, even if his condition is a short term issue.

"You have to understand, Johnny is going to go through a lot. There is the physical aspect of his injury which could mean many different things from mood swings, to memory problems, to speech problems to a number of other issues. Then, you have to take into account the emotional factor. Even if this is temporary, he will have to deal with the issue of losing his parents all over again. Plus, he will have to come to terms with the fact that despite feeling, thinking and in all sense, acting like a young boy, he looks a lot older. That fact alone, knowing that his perspective is vastly different than what he knows it will be hard to conceive. On top of all that, yes, he does seem to respond positively to you Roy, but you and your family are strangers to him. To him, he doesn't know and has never met you before. Trust will need to be built.

"At the very least, if you are still willing to take this on after really thinking about all this, I want all of you, not just Johnny, but your entire family to attend counseling sessions. Not just separately, but with just your family and then together with Johnny before you take him home. I won't agree to even think about releasing him into your care until I see the counselor's recommendations as well as how Johnny interacts with everyone. I also want to know what a physical therapist says, because he may need inpatient rehabilitation. I know it will be a lot to cram into a short time period,, but considering his injuries, we can justifiably keep him here an extra week if needed on the rehab floor. After all that, if I agree to it, if this is something you really do want to take on, I can come over and explain things as well so everyone knows what to look for just in case something happens. I will also try to get you some resources to help you out."

"Thanks, doc. That'll help, but I think our kids might just surprise you," Roy stated.

"Roy here has taught them all about first-aid, and I doubt it is what is considered normal first-aid in fact," Jo laughed a bit, knowing a paramedics definition of 'basic' meant much more was covered than would normally be covered by a community course for babysitters. Her kids already had learned signs of shock, CPR, how to control different types of bleeding, how to splint injuries, look for signs of concussions and various other things by the time they were eight years old. Their Uncle Johnny and dad had even made sure to test them often.

Steeling themselves for the grim task ahead, Roy and Joanne clasped hands together, ready to face whatever new direction life might take them.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:<strong> _The Wedworth-Townsend Paramedic Act_ of the California State Legislature was passed by Governor Reagan on July 14, 1970. There is also the fact that Johnny and Roy were working with Nurses during his birthday which is reported as August 28th. I am just assuming based on how slow I know government can work that ten months for a bill to pass is not too long. Therefore, I put the two of them meeting at the recruiting time as April and training May through July of 1969.


	9. Exam

Roy began leading Jo and Dr. Early into Johnny's cubicle. Before they could enter however, the nurse in charge of Johnny's care asked to speak with the three of them, away from where he might overhear.

"Dr. Early," Nurse Fitz began. "We tried to perform the nuero and vitals checks as asked, but we ran into a problem… If he was sleeping and we woke him up, or if he was awake and we tried to perform the checks, Johnny would just end up almost hyperventilating. It wasn't until we would back-up or even left the room that he would calm down. I was just about to call you when I saw you coming off the elevator."

"That's odd," Roy replied with a slight frown. "He seemed to deal with them just fine while I was there. Johnny wasn't too thrilled about them, but he cooperated at least."

"That's the thing though, Roy. You were there," Dr. Early explained. "It's what I tried to tell you. Right now, John is extremely confused, scared, worried, and he doesn't know what is going on. He is more than likely forgetting what he was told not too long ago and is struggling to take in everything. Those things alone are enough to throw off someone's emotional balance. On top of that, with his injuries and surgery, he is fighting the emotional and physical upheaval of that as well. It will take quite a while to regain his balance again, if he ever does regain his emotional balance fully. Johnny is also surrounded by what he believes are strangers, yet these same people are trying to tell him that they know who he is and who he is as a person. At the same time, his body is trying hard to recover physically and that alone would be hard enough with the numerous injuries, but when you consider his emotional state of mind as well," Dr. Early sighed heavily.

"Let's just say, us doctors will have to be more vigilant than normal to ensure he doesn't come down with any infections or complications. Anyone who does interact with him will need to remember to be patient with him and remember that this is not the John Gage we remember. Thankfully, from what I have observed in emergency and the ICU so far, for whatever reason however, it does seem that the deep bond that connects you two together still exists. Although Johnny doesn't seem to realize this, he does trust you more than anyone else. I don't believe he fully trusts you, but he is willing to give you the benefit of the doubt given the fact of this connect you two have. That is why I have wanted you around."

"I understand, and I will be here as much as possible," Roy promised. "I know I will need to stop at home soon, just to let my kids know how he is doing when they get home from school."

"That is more than understandable and you won't have to worry. I will probably be keeping him lightly sedated with anti-anxiety meds after running a few tests considering how he has reacted so far. With all the trauma his body has gone through, it shouldn't be hard for him to sleep much of the time. So, how about we see how Johnny is doing? And Roy, if you don't mind, why don't you take his vitals and after that, I'll just run a quick nuero check and exam to see where we are."

"Sure, doc, that's no problem. Ready, honey?" Roy asked Joanne.

"Yes," she replied, mentally calming herself down. She honestly had no idea what to expect or how to react and for someone who prided herself on being able to be strong for others, it was a bit of shock to feel so vulnerable.

Knocking softly on the doorway of Johnny's ICU are, Roy entered quietly. Seeing that Johnny was awake and just staring out the window, he asked, "See anything interesting?"

Shaking his head no, Johnny didn't bother to turn and see who was invading his space this time. It seemed as though someone was always bugging him, wanting to poke him or hurt him for no reason he could think of. They kept saying it wasn't because he was bad, but during the few times he had fallen asleep, Johnny figured they must be lying. He may not know why he was here or why he hurt so much, but he did remember that he was told that his parents couldn't be there with him before he went to sleep. Considering he was seven years old and if he 'membered right, it was almost time for Christmas, that meant his parents were both gone. Johnny just couldn't figure out why they were lying to him, especially that blonde hair man. He seemed so kind and gentle. Shrugging his shoulder, Johnny heard his name coming from the white hair man…a doctor, he believed, but not in time to figure out what he had said.

"Did you get that, Johnny?" Dr. Early asked patiently, seeing Johnny's attention had wandered when Roy introduced Joanne and then he taken over to let him know that there were tests he wanted to run.

"Nope," Johnny stated bluntly with a bit of an attitude.

"What were you thinking about, sweetie?" Jo asked.

"Who the he** are you?" Johnny was starting to feel crowded. That doctor was near his feet and blocking the door, the blonde hair man- _ROY! That's it, that's his name!_ – was near his head on the right side blocking the window and now this lady was between these two.

"Her name is Joanne," Roy explained as patiently as possible. "Please, don't swear. I know you must be frustrated, but maybe if you tell us why, we can help."

"Why didn't you tell me mama and dad are gone? Why am I here, whatcha want with me anyway?"

Joanne's mothering instinct took over at that point and she sat on the bed next to Johnny.

"Honey, no one told you about your mom and dad because we didn't know how to tell you. We also had hoped that when you woke up, you would feel better and remember things on your own. If you hadn't remembered, I promise you, we would have told you today."

"Really?" Johnny was still suspicious and looked to Roy for confirmation.

"Yes. We also promise that we will help you out as much as we possibly can since your parents aren't here, alright? I know you don't know us, but both Joanne and I are hoping you will give us a chance to get to know us. We would love to have you as part of our lives."

"Why? I'm just a half-breed…"

"So," Joanne waved it off. "I have a lot of different types of people in my background. So does Roy. I don't mind in the least about Roy or about you, or about anyone's color or background."

Shaking his head yes skeptically, Johnny decided he would have to keep an eye on what she did. He had already learned that what people said, wasn't always what they did and like his parents taught him, it was best to judge people by how they were, not what they said.

Seeing that it'd take time, energy and effort for trust to be built on the DeSoto's part, as well as anyone who came into contact with Johnny, Dr. Early decided to note that fact in his chart.

"John, if it is okay with you, I'd like Roy to take your vital signs so we can see how you are doing. After that, I would like to run just a few short tests myself. We'll have to have the nurses take your vital signs every half-hour right now, but you can sleep in between them, okay?" Dr. Early promised as he witness Johnny yawned.

"What signs? And I didn't study for no test…" Johnny anxiously told him.

"It's okay, you don't need to study for these tests," Roy assured him. "Would you like it if Joanne stayed or would you rather that she leaves? She could always stop on by before we leave."

Overwhelmed by the information, Johnny couldn't process anything and his anxiety began causing him to hyperventilate.

"Johnny," Roy softly commanded. When that failed to capture his attention, he tried again. This time, he grasped Johnny's head lightly to turn it towards him so Johnny could concentrate on him. "John, look at me."

Glancing up at Roy, John reached out a hand, finally grabbing Joanne's hand.

"Take a deep breath in," Roy coached gently. "That's a boy. Now let it out. Take another breath in and hold it. Let that breathe out."

After a couple of minutes, Roy had successfully calmed down Johnny.

"I'm so sorry," Roy apologized, dropping his hand from Johnny's face. "I didn't mean to pile on so much on you."

"Why are you saying sorry?" Johnny was confused. It was rare that anyone would say those words to him, unless it was his family.

"Because I know your head must hurt and you are having a hard time with everything. I forgot that for a bit. It was my fault."

"Okay…" unable to think of a good response, Johnny just let it go.

"Since you seem okay with Joanne, would you like her to stay?" asked Roy, seeing that Johnny still held her hand.

"Oh! I'm sorry…" Johnny stuttered, trying to let go of her hand. "Ma'am, I didn't know, sorry."

"It's okay, sweetie," Joanne smiled. "And you don't need to call me ma'am. Joanne is fine."

Blushing and ducking his head, Johnny shook his head and told her he couldn't.

Lifting up his face gently, Joanne asked, "Why not?"

"Mama and Dad always said I call adults by the last name or ma'am or sir. To respect to them. I don't know your last name so…" again, Johnny blushed and tried ducking his head.

For a few moments, there was silence while Roy and Joanne looked at one another. Both were clear: neither felt comfortable being addressed that way, no matter how long it may be for, yet they knew they had to respect how Johnny was raised.

"How about for right now, you just call us Uncle Roy and Aunt Jo?" Roy held his breath. It would be beyond odd for his partner to call him that, but it would solve both problems he and Jo had. Plus, that was the same solution Johnny had come up with when he grew close enough to their family that if felt too formal for Chris to call him Mr. Gage while calling him by his given name wasn't deemed appropriate or respectful in the adult's eyes.

"Really?" Johnny seemed to perk up at this news. Unfortunately, for him, it meant trying to move as well and that did not bode well at all for him.

As soon as he tried straightening in bed due to his eagerness, pain shot through his legs and lower back as the stitches were tugged. The burns rubbed against the blankets causing him to groan. Worst yet, the movement triggered a head rush causing even more dizziness. All in all, the result was more nauseous and if it wasn't for the NG tube, Johnny would have become sick. As it were, Dr. Early quickly stepped outside the ICU cubicle and let a nurse the medications he would need.

Stepping back in, Dr. Early saw the DeSoto's resettling him back on the bed.

"Johnny," he nearly whispered. "I know right now you are in a lot of pain. To help get rid of that pain though, I need Roy to do a vitals check first. Then I need to do some of my own tests. It won't take too long, but it needs to be done. Joanne will stay by you if you would like."

Hesitating, Johnny thought about it briefly. It wasn't long before he agreed to letting her stay however as she reminded him of his own mother.

"Alright, than, Joanne, if you could come stay on his right side. Johnny, the first thing Roy will do is take your temperature, the thermometer is going to need to stay in your mouth for about three minutes," Dr. Early nodded to Roy who already had everything laid out for the vitals check.

"While we are waiting for that, Roy is going to put what is called a blood pressure cup on your arm. It will tighten on your arm and he will listen to the blood flow in your arm as it tightens. It might hurt or pinch a bit, it may even make your arm a bit tingly but it will go away soon enough," he explained as Roy pumped up the blood pressure cup. "He is going to put his fingers on your wrists to check your pulse."

Again, Dr. Early waited a bit until Roy was done so as not to overwhelm Johnny. "Finally, he is going to put his hands on your stomach to count how many times you breathe. Now that all that is done, he just needs to pull out the thermometer and that is it. Was that too scary?"

"Nah," Johnny said, yawning. "Just boring and tiring. Nap time?"

"Sorry, I still need to run my tests," Dr. Early told him. "After that, you can sleep. Just remember, Joanne and Roy need to get some sleep too, so they will be going home after you fall asleep. They will be back tomorrow though, alright? There will be a nurse who will be checking in on you now and again, you just let her know if you need anything at all or if you need one of us.

"Now, for my tests, it may hurt a bit, which is why I didn't give you the medications that will help the pain right away. Plus, the medications will make you sleepy. Thanks, Roy," Dr. Early said as Roy walked over to the other side of the bed, knowing the doctor would need room to work.

"Alright, Johnny, first, I am going to shine this small flashlight into your eyes," Dr. Early lifted first the left eyelid and flashed the light over the eye a couple of times before doing the same with the other eye. Each time the light passed over Johnny's eye, he tried moving out of the way, but Roy was there to help hold him still while Joanne held onto his hand. As Doctor Early got out the otoscope, he made sure to explain that it was just a fancier version of the flashlight.

"Plus, this way, not only can I see really good up your nose, I can also see into your ears. Thankfully, I can't see _through_ them, which is very good news," Dr. Early told him as he continued to demonstrate exactly what the otoscope could do, drawing giggles from Johnny, as well as Roy and Joanne. "I can also see into your eyes. I also can see what your mouth looks like inside.

"You did very well. Now, if you could hold your head still and follow my finger," Dr. Early asked. "Great job. Can you tell me how many fingers I am holding up?"

"Three?" Johnny asked, not quite sure that the answer was right.

Smiling, Dr. Early announced that Johnny was doing very good.

"We are almost done, I need you to take both of my hands and squeeze them as hard as possible," Dr. Early asked as he placed his hands by Johnny's. After he had done so, Dr. Early moved to the end of the bed and flipped up the covers to uncover his feet. Placing his hands flat against Johnny's left foot, he asked him to press down as hard as he could.

Trying, Johnny let out a sharp yelp of pain. When he had tried to do so, it had felt as though he was trying to rip apart his back. Becoming angry within mere seconds, he grabbed the closest thing near him, a glass of water, at Dr. Early. Considering that he tried throwing the glass with his right hand, he managed to rip out his IV of antibiotics that were piggy-backed to the fluids. Fortunately for Dr. Early, the glass didn't go far and basically tumbled out of Johnny's hand.

Shocked, Roy snapped, "Johnny!"

Ashamed, he turned his back to Roy and Joanne the best he could, pulling his covers up as far as they could go. He didn't care about the blood flowing down his arm from his blown IV or anything else. He just wanted to disappear.

"Roy, remember, you have to be patient," Jo whispered so quietly Roy could barely hear her.

Nodding, Roy joined Dr. Early on the other side of the bed to try to coax Johnny out from under the covers.

"Johnny, I'm not mad. I was, well, I was just surprised that you threw the glass. I guess I didn't think about why you threw it. Joanne reminded me and well, I get it now too. I would have thrown the glass too. Actually, I think I would have thrown something heavier and would actually have hit the doc," Roy joked.

Peeking out from under the blankets, Johnny's brown eyes looked wary until he saw Roy's look.

"Really?" he asked in wonder.

"Yeah, it has to hurt with all those stitches on your back."

"Why are they there?"

Looking at Dr. Early for confirmation that it was okay to tell him, Roy explained that he'd been caught in a fire and when he was trying to escape, something blew up, making him fly a bit, causing him to get hurt.

"Wow," Johnny stated.

"Wow is right," Roy repeated, thinking that was an understatement. "Now, you need this IV, it helps you from getting sick and that way you don't have to get a shot every time you need medication, so how about I put it back in for you?"

Pushing the blankets down to his elbows, Johnny moaned.

"I hate needles."

"Better one needle than having the nurses keep sticking you a lot whenever you need your medications. That would hurt a lot more," Roy reasoned.

Giving in, Johnny held out his right hand where Roy inserted a new IV needle and put a bandage over the old IV site. Once that was established, Dr. Early gave Johnny the medications for pain and to help him sleep. When he finally dozed off, the three of them exited his room as silently as possible.


	10. And the Results are

"If you two have a bit of time before you need to leave, I can go over the results with you," Dr. Early told Joanne and Roy.

Glancing at her gold plated watch with a red leather-like band, Joanne noted it was almost three in the afternoon.

"We have some time. Our neighbor is picking up the kids at the bus stop, but I did tell her we would be home by 4:00," Joanne explained.

Nodding, Dr. Early asked for a minute as he went to the ICU monitoring desk to speak with Nurse Fritz.

"Maggie?"

"Yes, Doctor?" Nurse Fritz looked up from the charts she was going over. Shift change may have been three hours away, but to her, it was fast approaching. As one of two head nurses of working the day shift on the ICU ward, she needed to ensure everything was in order and the paperwork seemed endless.

"I was hoping that you would take over Johnny's case, at least until the new shift arrived. I have some special instructions that I would like carried out. If you can't, if you could let me know of someone who could..."

"Oh, no, I wouldn't mind," she told him. Maggie's own brother was a firefighter in San Diego, so she had a special place in her heart for firefighters. "I can always work on the charts later or have Sara help me out."

"Thanks. Right now, he is having some mood swings and is confused about what is going on, where he is. He still believes he is seven years old and he doesn't realize that he lives in California. I don't want anyone to mention that to him. I doubt he'll ask, but if he does, either page me or Dr. Brackett. I will be on shift until midnight tonight and on-call after that. Brackett has the night shift tonight, so he will be coming in at eleven. I have my home phone listed on the charts, just in case anything comes up. Don't hesitate to call with any problems," Dr. Early emphasized.

"I would like to keep the vital checks every half hour up until 10 tonight. Then, reduce them to every hour. It will likely be hard so wake him gently, give him a chance to figure out he's in a hospital, prompt him if needed. It will help if you let him know who you are, that everything is fine and also, it will help if everything is explained right before you do so," after this, Doctor Early signs Johnny's chart and adds one more instruction. "On there is an order for 1 mg of morphine and for dexmedetomidine administered at .06 mcg/kg via his IV every hour. If you feel it isn't helping his anxiety, let me know. Right now, I would just like him to sleep in between the vital checks. Reduce the dosage to .04 mg/kg at 6:00 am.

"He will need blood work again around," looking at his watch, Dr. Early calculated the time. "Eight tonight. Call Dixie or I up before doing so and one of us will take care of it. If there is any problems at all, and I do mean anything, even if he is just acting out or things are difficult for you or the nurse who takes over, give Dixie or me a call, alright?"

"I got it all. I'll take good care of him and I will make sure the night staff knows as well. I'll even hand-pick out the nurse to take care of him," Maggie teased him a bit, but as she held out her copious notes that had been taken, Dr. Early knew Johnny was in the best hands possible.

"Thank you," Dr. Early flashed her a grateful smile. "Well, Roy, Joanne, should we go to the lounge real quick? It's much more comfortable and private area. I can let you know what I know now and what we can do to prepare."

"Sure, doc, lead the way," Roy said, taking Joanne's hand in his for comfort.

Following Dr. Early, both Joanne and Roy were filled with questions about how much had changed since they had met with him just before going to see Johnny. Joanne was in the dark even more so than Roy about what could possibly be different. Roy however, knew enough to know head injuries didn't always follow set patterns and could change in a moment's notice. He just wished he knew what had changed as it seemed to him that not much had changed, except for the fact that Johnny was more alert and aware.

_Yes, he seems more frustrated than before,_ Roy acknowledged. _But since he IS more awake, he is likely finally feeling the pain of his injuries finally. Who wouldn't be frustrated and upset about that, especially if they couldn't remember how it happened. He also finally remembered his parents aren't here because they're dead. That cannot be easy to deal with either. When my dad died, I took out my anger on other people, even though they didn't deserve it, and I was a teenager. Considering Johnny's mindset has him believing he is seven, which has to be even harder for him to accept. _

Shaking himself from his musing, Roy found himself in the surgical doctor's lounge before he realized it. Pulling out a chair for Jo before sitting down himself, he mentally braced himself.

"So, what has changed between what you told us before we saw Johnny and after?" Roy bluntly asked.

"I am not sure if you noticed or not, but when I asked Johnny to answer my question as to how many fingers were held up and to follow my fingers, not only did it take a couple of seconds longer than it should have for him to do so, he also had difficulty with it as well. This does raise a bit of concern as when Johnny was asked the basic questions about his age, the date and such, his reaction time was also slower than it should have been. I had hoped that it was due to just being taken off the vent and having some traces of sedation left in his system, but that doesn't seem to be the case. It is likely caused by the head injury. Whether it is temporary or not remains to be seen."

Glancing at Joanne, Roy ran his hand over his face.

"No, neither of us noticed. I think we were both more worried about other things. Could it mean anything else, like an after effect from surgery?" Roy asked, grasping at straws.

"Unfortunately, it is very unlikely. You have to look at the positives though. This could very well just be a side effect of the injury and with time, Johnny's reaction times could speed up or even become normal again."

"Or it might not," Roy stated grimly. Faced with this new information, he felt overwhelmed and wondered just how long of a recovery period Johnny might be facing. Or if those in his life would actually have to accept this as the new reality. No matter what though, his resolve was firm: somehow, he'd help find a way to get Johnny though this.

"Roy," Joanne snapped at him, breaking into his depressing thoughts. "Those types of thoughts won't help anyone, least of all Johnny."

"She's right, and we have to focus on the positives. He is alive and at least he can talk, move and function. The rest can eventually be dealt with," Dr. Early pointed out. "Johnny does have some muscle weakness, but honestly, it wasn't as bad as I had expected it to be. With some physical therapy, and again, time, it should help. He will eventually need therapy for his ankle and legs anyway. I'll set up an appointment with a physical therapist in a couple days, but honestly, right now, I want to wait a bit. The first is due to the fact he needs to recover from the surgery. He will require a lot of sleep and rest.

"The second reason is that I don't want to overwhelm him. As you two saw, he is fragile emotionally and the smallest thing can set him off. I'd much rather work on helping him gain some stability there. Also, as the contusions heal, hopefully things will settle down and get back to normal. In the meantime, I have a psychologist in mind I would like him to see. I'm going to wait until tomorrow to introduce them. His name is Doctor Druthers and works with families a lot of the time. I couldn't get the doctor who has worked with cases like Johnny's as he is backed-logged right now, but Doctor Druthers is very good and is willing to work with all five of you.

"Starting tomorrow, I'd like each of you to come in and spend at least forty-five minutes, if not a full hour each time talking to Doctor Druthers by yourselves. I know it is a lot to ask, but for the next three days, I want to have a commitment that all of you will do so. The doctor has helped develop this plan too. After this, on the fourth day, you will again meet separately and then have an hour-long family session once the individual sessions are done, although he told me that more time has been set aside for you if needed," studying both Roy and Joanne and seeing that they were overwhelmed, he decided to remind them of a simple fact. "You do not need to do this if you think it is too much. No one will think any less of you."

Roy snapped out, "I would think less of myself! But I will make sure my family knows that this isn't something that they have to do. I may not understand what I am getting into exactly, but I do know Jo would not allow me back in the house again if I didn't at least try. This is what both of us want. This is what our kids want."

Taking over, Joanne continued, "I know our kids are young and understand even less than we do about this situation. They don't really understand that they may never understand that their 'Uncle Johnny' may never be who he was. Truth be told, it's hard for Roy and I to grasp that as well. But Roy is right, we want to try. Even if Johnny doesn't remember us, we remember him and he is part of the family. Family sticks together and is there for one another. All we can do right now is try to prepare and help out Johnny. So we appreciate your concern, but frankly, it's not needed.

"As far as how the kids will be treated in the house, Roy and I discussed this. In fact, his whole crew stop over individually and is coming tonight as a group. Each one of them has volunteered to help out when and where possible. They wanted to let us know that no matter how long it takes, they will be there. As a matter of fact, they wanted to talk to whatever doctor we would end up needing to talk to so that they would know how best to support our family."

Blinking his eyes in amazement, Dr. Early became speechless for a bit.

"So, doc, what do you think?" Roy asked, a bit smug.

"I have to admit, that if you can keep up this attitude and continue to get this kind of help, you might make it. I'll be sure to let Doctor Druthers know about your crew wanting to learn. It might be best if they visit the New Dawn Adult Care Home, as that is one place I want all of you to visit while Johnny is here. They have a few adults there with brain injuries. Unfortunately, they aren't as lucky as Johnny, but the people do have some similar issues, just to a worse degree. The care takers can also give you some tips and information on how best to help Johnny if, or when, things heal.

"I will want both you and Joanne to visit daily. Let him get to know about the both of you again, tell him about how you two met, your kids, family life. Tell him about your work Roy. I hate to put this on you, but since you know him best, it may be up to you to answer some of his questions, such as why hasn't his aunt taken him in. You need to be prepared for that since he may not be willing to open up to others yet and may only ask you two. Dr. Druthers can help you out of course and both him and I know that Johnny may not open up to him. If that is the case, we may ask one of you two to sit in on his sessions to help him feel more comfortable. I am sure your kids miss him, but wait a two or three days, then start introducing the idea of meeting your kids, see how he reacts. If he reacts well, than I say that we allow them to see one another. However, you will have to make sure both Chris and Jenny know not to call him 'Uncle'. You can wait to bring it up with Dr. Druthers if that helps. I can certainly understand that.

"Finally, if you are set in bringing him home with you to recover, make sure you take down pictures of him with your family or him when he is older. Maybe bring some items over that have special meaning to him from his apartment or something. It would also be a good idea to have him near your bedroom just in case, if possible. Be patient, but don't allow him to do whatever he wants. Let him know if something isn't acceptable. The most important thing though is just to take things slow and not to expect too much."

"Thanks, doc," Roy stood up and shook Dr. Early's hand. "If you'll excuse us, we have to get going home. We promised to be home for supper. I'll be sure to be here after the kids leave for school in the morning."

"I'll be sure to visit for a bit in the afternoon after I drop the kids off and do some errands. Call us though if you need us for anything," Joanne added as they left the lounge and headed out of the hospital.


	11. Facing the Kids and Crew

Roy arrived at the DeSoto's two story house ten minutes after Joanne did, having stopped to pick up a pizza from a local place. With everything that had gone on lately, it would mean more time for them as a family to discuss what was expected of them. It would also give him more time with his family before his crew came over to discuss what exactly was going on with Johnny and what the expectations were for his recovery.

Opening the front door, Roy took a deep breath and mentally prepared himself for a tough evening ahead.

_Although, I'm not too certain that things are going to be easy for quite a while yet. Even Dr. Early has cautioned that despite the fact that from a medical perspective, everything is going well, we still have to take things slowly as the surgery to remove the excess blood was less than a week ago and the swelling isn't completely gone yet. Johnny could still suffer some sort of setback or the bruises could cause more swelling, especially if his blood pressure becomes too high or he suffers another head injury before they are healed. I just hope that nothing else happens because I am not sure how much more any of us can take, me, my wife, kids, him or his friends._

His daughter's cry of "Daddy!" freed him from his worrying thoughts.

"Hi, sweetheart," Roy gave her a weak smile. "So how was your day?"

"It was fine," Jenny shrugged her shoulders. "Mom and Chris are setting up for supper and she said when you got here, we could eat."

"Well, let's go then, shall we," Roy took her hand and let her lead him into the kitchen. By how silent the dinner was, Roy knew Jo had told the kids that they would wait until after dinner to discuss how their uncle was doing.

"Can we be excused, mom?" Chris asked for himself and Jenny after seeing she, too was done with her salad and pizza.

"Yes, you may. In fact, we'll all help clean up and go in the living room to talk about what is happening and what the plans are," Jo replied.

Nodding his head, Roy got up and followed the others as they silently and quickly cleaned up after themselves. Once that chore was done, Roy led the family into the living room and took a seat on the end of the coach. Joanne sat on the end table across from him with Jenny next to her while Chris sat next to his dad. This way, they could all see one another, yet be close enough as well. Both Chris and Jenny had been scared after the talk that morning and although both were hoping for good news, they knew that if there was any, they would have been asked to wait.

Preparing himself, Roy began discussing the situation with his kids.

"I really am not sure how to start," looking down at his hands, Roy exhaled loudly. "I guess I should say that the surgery done to remove some blood in Uncle Johnny's brain did what it was supposed to… The swelling of his brain has gone down and Doctor Early feels that a couple of days more on medications should help it go down the rest of the way. That means, there shouldn't be any problems from that.

"The brain still has bruises and at this time, they are pretty bad. You know how bruises get worse before they get better?" Roy asked and looked at his two kids. Both of them nodded yes.

He wished with all his heart that his ten-year old daughter and eleven-year old son didn't have to hear this next part. But he and Joanne promised to be honest with them if something would affect them-besides, how could he not tell them? John had been around them their whole lives and for them, they didn't remember a time when he was a part of the DeSoto family. Even knowing that his two kids were caring, kind and had an uncommon ability to not only accept others for who they were, but to help those in need, Roy still wanted to protect them. Protect them from what, he wasn't sure, as he had made sure his kids were well-informed about topics many parents thought they were too young for.

_Maybe just protect them from the harsh realities of life. Just because of the skills and knowledge they do have, doesn't mean that they really understand how cruel life can be,_ Roy admitted to himself

"So, does that mean that the bruises are really bad right now?" Chris asked. "And how did he even get bruises there? I mean, I didn't think you could."

"It's possible, although it takes a lot of trauma, or force, to do so. In this case, when the explosion occurred, he was tossed around quite a bit and his head was basically shaken hard. That with the land, well, let's just say it was enough to do the damage," swallowing rapidly, Roy tried to get the sounds he had heard out of his head. Knowing it would take a long time to fade in his mind, he tried concentrating on the here and now. "Anyway, the bruises are most likely what is causing Johnny to have issues with his memory and in some other areas.

"Doctor Early noticed when he had asked Johnny some basic questions, such as age and where he was, it took him a bit to answer. So, it seems as though he is thinking a bit slower than he should be. Hopefully, that will clear up with time. Uncle Johnny is also experiencing some muscle weakness, meaning he just doesn't have the strength he should. Again, we have to wait and see if this gets better.

"I think right now, what your mom and I are most worried about, besides Johnny not knowing us is the fact that his moods go up and down. He can be calm and fine, then he just gets scared and acts out. Although, he can't do much yet as he is just extremely tired."

"Well, daddy," Jenny interrupted impatiently. "How could he not be upset and frustrated and scared? He doesn't know anything! Where he is, what's going on, nothing! I bet he is in pain and feels like he's been left alone. How would you feel then?"

Knowing that she was right, Roy and Joanne looked at each other. Sometimes, it amazed them how perspective their youngest was.

"You're right, dad and I didn't really think of that," Joanne told her. "And he does remember that his parents died, so that couldn't have helped."

Roy ran his hand though his hair.

"We really messed up," he stated.

"No, we were just more worried about other things," Jo countered. "Don't give me that look Roy Christopher DeSoto. You can't remember or do everything yourself."

"I know, but…"

"But, nothing," Jo stated firmly.

"Alright. Now, kids. I know you said that you wanted Uncle Johnny to come home here again to recover after he gets out. Knowing he thinks he is younger than both of you, that he has mood swings, and will need both your dad's help, as well as mine, do you still want this? I want you to think about this, there is no right answer. It's okay if the idea of him coming here, not knowing when or if Johnny will get better, is too scary or too much to handle. If either one of you doesn't want him to come here, that's perfectly fine. But this has to be a family decision. Take some time and really think hard. Ask us questions if you need to, although what we told you is what we were told and honestly, we aren't sure of much more. But we will try our best," Roy informed the kids

After a bit, Chris asked, "how long would it take for Uncle Johnny to get better?"

"First of all, Doctor Early told us that recovery would depend on how long it took the bruises to heal. If it takes too long for the bruises to heal or the bruises are too deep, than Johnny may not ever be back to how he was before. Doctor Early can't say what issues Johnny might have as it would depend on where the bruise is on the brain since different parts of the brain affect different things," seeing the slightly confused looks, Roy tried to come up with a comparison.

"Think of a small keyboard piano. If you drop some things, on it, you may or may not damage it. However, you probably will have some damage at different areas of the keyboard. You might be able to repair the keyboard and it may be just like it was before. But sometimes, if too much damage was done to the on button, it might harder to use. Or if damage was done to a key, the music played may not sound the same, it may be harder to use that key or both or those things may happen. It's kinda like how a brain works. When something happens, you can repair it or let it repair itself. The brain might be able to put itself back to how it was before, but in some cases, the damage is permanent. It just depends on where and how well it can be repaired. Does that help?" Joanne asked.

"Yes," both kids answered.

"But that still didn't answer my question," Chris said. "Or are you saying that Uncle Johnny may never be like he used to be?"

"As much as we hate it, that just might be the case," Roy confirmed grimly. "No one knows right now though and we won't know until the bruises are gone. Since all bruises heal differently, we also don't know how long it will take for all of the bruises to go away completely. Doctor Early is using a new machine, called a CAT Scan which takes better pictures of the brain than an x-ray. That'll help him keep track of how Uncle Johnny is doing, but, well, the only thing the doctors can really do is try to help him deal with everything as it is as well as help him out with his medical needs. He did need some stitches, plus his ankle, foot and a couple of ribs were broken as well, so they are trying to make sure he isn't in pain from those issues. Those will heal just like any other times he has gotten broken bones or stitches."

Chris smiled at that comment, while both Jo and Jenny giggled. With the number of times Johnny had gotten stitches, he could have knitted his own socks. As good as he was at being a rescue man and a paramedic, Johnny also was great at being accident prone.

"I still say Uncle Johnny should come home. He's family," Chris firmly stated.

"What about you Jenny?" Jo asked.

"It'd be odd if we _didn't_ have him here. He needs us, even if he doesn't know that or us," was her pronouncement.

Smiling, Roy was relieved. Despite the fact that he had told Doctor Early he was sure that this would be the final decision for his kids, he still wasn't completely sure in his mind. Looking at the clock on the fireplace mantle, he saw it was fast approaching 7:30 pm.

"I am proud of both of you for this decision. I told Dr. Early that you would likely want to and he isn't sure of our family's decision," seeing the almost mutinous pouts on both of his children's face, Roy held up his hand. "He did agree though that if we did agree to a few things, he would give it serious consideration. So, starting tomorrow, each of us has to go to see a therapist name Doctor Druthers. Dr. Early wants us each to go into this with our eyes open and with as much knowledge as possible, with I agree is a great idea."

Joanne took up from here, knowing despite his willingness to actually go to the sessions, he would not be the best one to prepare Chris or Jennifer.

"The sessions will be by yourselves so you can talk about any worries you have, or how you feel about things. This Doctor Druthers will have a bit of extra time set aside if you need it. These sessions will also help you to deal with what is happening and what it means by being willing to have Johnny at home with us. We'll have a family session after a few days and then have a session or so with Johnny included. I'll pick you two up after school and we'll go right after. Are you guys okay with this still? If not, you can say so. Neither your dad nor I would be upset or any less proud of you," Joanne reassured them.

Seeing them both shake their head no, Joanne smiled.

"Alright you two. One last thing and I know this will be hard, but from now until Johnny gets better, you need to practice calling him just Johnny. If it helps, your dad and I have to get used to him calling us Aunt Jo and Uncle Roy because he told us his parents would never allow him to call an adult just by their first name," seeing their looks and the laughter that threatened to break out, Joanne went on. "Now, I know its early, but since your dad's crew will be helping out as they can, they will be over in about twenty minutes, so I'd like you to get ready for bed."

"Can we at least read?" Jenny asked.

"Up until 8:30 pm. It's a school night," Jo reminded her.

"Thanks," Jennifer said with a smile, giving first her mom, then her dad a hug and a kiss, Jennifer bounced up the stairs into her room.

Chris hugged both of his parents as well, hanging on a bit longer than normal, before he too went to his room across from his sister.

Ten minutes later, the doorbell rang. Opening the door, Roy wasn't surprised to see everyone from Station 51 'A' shift already there. He knew that it was never easy for anyone when one of them got hurt and this was the most serious injury any of them had ever incurred. While the five of them settled into the living room, Joanne went to make coffee. As soon as she brought it into the living room, she gave Roy a kiss and told him she would check up on the kids. Knowing how close the crew was, she correctly thought it'd be best that it would be done just among themselves.

When Jo had disappeared upstairs, Captain Stanley cleared his throat.

"So, how is John? I called the hospital for an update and they just say he's in stable condition."

"Yea," Chet agreed. "It's frustrating. I told the nurse or whoever I knew that, I just wanted to know if he was still a kid and she got huffy with me. Is he doing any better remembering us?"

"No," Roy let a deep sigh. "He still thinks he a kid and what's worse now, is that he remembers that his parents are gone. We won't know if it's permanent until the bruises heal and there is no way to know how long that will take."

"Is his aunt going to come up and help at all?" Cap asked.

Shaking his head no, Roy told him, "She said that she wouldn't know how to deal with it. I guess she is mad at Johnny for even becoming a firefighter and said something to the effect of, 'I told him he'd get hurt doing such a job. Recklessness and stupidity must run in the family.' When I asked her what she meant, she just something about how her brother drove off the road on his 13th wedding universe, killing him and his wife. I guess, she feels she tried to raise John better, but failed somehow and now wants nothing to do with him. That's why Jo and I are the powers of attorney for him, as well as next of kin.

Amazed at the seemingly uncaring woman, Roy thought out loud, "I know Johnny mentioned they were never close after she found him but would never told me why. I am not even sure he knew.

"Either way, she's washed her hands of him. She cares enough that she would like to be kept updated, if possible, her words, not mine. Otherwise, it'll be up to me and Jo to decide what to do. We did talk to Jenny and Chris about bringing him here and of course, despite what I said about his memory and mood swings, they still want him here. Doctor Early isn't too sure about it, so he made, or will make, appointments for the four of us to see a Doctor Druthers separately for the next few days. Then, we will have family sessions without Johnny before ones with him."

"Well, pal, whatever you need, we will see what we can do to help. Other firefighters have heard what happened and are willing to step up as well. Just let us know. But, I think I speak for the four of us here, we don't want you and Jo to think you are Johnny's only family. He's been like a son to me and I want to do what I can to help. Plus, my wife Irene wants to help out, what with the girls gone to college or busy with high school all the time."

Mike, Chet and Marco all readily agreed.

"If you need a break and need someone to stay with Johnny, I'd be more than willing," Mike offered. "I've taken care of my older sister when my parents needed to get away."

"Whatcha mean, Mike?" Chet was curious, he had never known Mike to have an older sister. Younger, yes. By the looks on the other guys, none of them had known either.

"My sister has autism. It's not bad enough that she needed to be in an institution, but she still needs a lot of help. She has trouble with a lot of basic things. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, remember to food shop, things like that. I just never thought to mention it," Mike said.

"Thanks, Mike. We might just take you up on it. From what it seems like, at least until Johnny's brain heals, it'll be like having three kids around here. One of them with some problems, even though we aren't quite sure what yet," said Roy.

"Hey, what about me?" Chet felt offended. "I can help."

"Really," Marco raised his eyebrows at his friend. "By what? Teaching him pranks or pulling them on him?"

"I wouldn't do that!" Chet protested. "I'd…"

"Hold it," Cap ordered, knowing Chet all too well. "How about we talk about what we came here for? What can we do now, Roy?"

"As you know, my family and I need to see Dr. Druthers before Doctor Early even thinks of signing off on releasing Johnny to our care. He did say that if you wanted to help and learn how more about head injuries, you could come with us to New Dawn Adult Care Home. I guess there, we will be given more information and shown how we can help Johnny. I think Dr. Early might even set you up to see Doctor Druthers so that we know how best to deal with and take care of any issues that pop up."

"Sure, I think that is no problem," Cap said for everyone after looking at how his remaining crew was reacting. "Thanks for letting us barge in like this and for keeping us in the loop."

"No problem. Just glad you guys are here to help," Roy admitted as he stood with the guys and headed towards the front door.

"Just call us if you need anything," Marco said as he left.

"Any time," Chet added as he too exited the DeSoto's house.

"That goes for me too, pal. If you even just need the missus to whip something up, just give me or her a call. She'd be glad to and may just randomly drop by anyway with food," Cap warned before leaving.

Mike lingered a bit behind, unsure how best to let his crew mate and friend know what was on his mind. In the end, he decided to do something very uncharacteristic and just spilled out what he was thinking.

"My sister is 39 now. I can best describe her as a contradiction. Someone who struggles with the simplest tasks and finds joy in the small things like a young kid would. The next moment, she says something so profound, you wonder if she isn't older than her years. The moment after that though, you just have to hang on because something has upset her, or stressed her out, or disrupted her routine so she has a temper-tantrum like a two-year old. Despite all that, she is loving, caring and unfailingly honest. I love her despite the ups and downs, the frustrations and uncertainties.

"I know it has to be hard for you and your family to deal with everything. I know my situation is far from the same. But I hope that you can find some comfort from knowing that I will at least be able to understand fairly well. I think what you want to do is amazing and I fully support it. Let me know if I can do anything, even if you just need to talk. Day or night."

Stunned, at both the amount said and what was said, Roy just watched as Mike walked into the dark to his car. Closing the door, he realized how truly blessed he was. With that thought, he made his way upstairs to check on his kids one last time before turning in himself. It had been a long day and tomorrow wasn't going to be easier on him.


	12. Late at Night

"Johnny, settle down, its okay, shhhh," Nurse Fitz cooed. "I just need to…"

Sighing, she saw that any attempt at touching him was just upsetting him more. Five long hours had passed since the DeSoto's had left. It seemed with each passing hour, Johnny fought the medication designed to keep him calm and his blood pressure was also going up as well. She had even volunteered to work overtime because Johnny couldn't accept the change in nurses. When she had tried to introduce him to Nurse Northstrom, the nurse who would take over for her, he had become so scared, they had to call in Dr. Early. Now, it looked like she would have to call him again.

_At least he's still on shift for a while,_ she thought with relief as she headed out of Johnny's cubicle. _That means I won't have to make a call to his house._

Within five minutes of the page going over the speakers, Dr. Early met up with Nurse Fitz. Knowing already what the page meant, he gave her a tired smile.

"Call down to x-ray and have a portable sent up," he ordered. "While you're doing that, I'd like to borrow one of your nurses."

"Yes, doctor. Cindy Northstrom is free, just look in the break room. And don't worry, her break is over in a couple of minutes, besides, we have a few extra people on tonight," Meggie told Dr. Early.

Nodding, Doctor Early went to enlist Cindy's help while Nurse Fitz made arrangements with x-rays. As she was finishing up, the two of them had returned.

"How long until x-ray arrives?" Dr. Early asked.

"They said it shouldn't be more than ten minutes, so usually that means about fifteen minutes," Nurse Fitz knew that it almost always took about five to ten minutes longer than predicted for x-ray to make it to the ICU ward.

Making notes on Johnny's chart, Dr. Early asked for 10 mg of diazepam. "I am hoping to just use 5 mg, but if need be, we will use all of it. What I need of you two is to be ready to hold him down and get the restraints on him if necessary."

Nodding their heads yes, both nurses readied themselves for the grim task ahead.

"Should someone call Roy?" Nurse Fitz asked while Cindy went to get the diazepam.

"Not yet, I'd like to see what the x-rays show. If they are the same, we'll just continue monitoring him. If need be, we will switch his maintenance sedation to something a bit stronger. I don't like the idea of his b.p. remaining at this level or the possibility of it going higher. Are you two ready?" he asked.

"Yes," both replied as they followed Dr. Early into Johnny's room.

Almost immediately upon entering, the three of them saw Johnny start to tense up and try to get up. The two nurses and doctor were prepared, as well as faster. It helped as well that any movement, especially sudden ones, sent Johnny's head spinning. His whole body reacted to his failed escape attempt. First, there was just a slight shudder before he started shaking. It felt as though his whole body was vibrating. Sinking back on the bed and hoping that the blackness just on the edge of his eyesight would swallow him, Johnny didn't even notice as the two nurses gently put the restraints on his arms and another around the unbroken leg. He didn't even see Dr. Early inject all 10 mg of the diazepam into his IV. Johnny did finally gain some of his senses back a minute later, although his head was still spinning and his body still not only felt like it was vibrating but also disconnected from him. Just before he gave into the sleep, he noticed that the three strangers were looking down at him with something akin to pity and fear.

_Fear of what?_ Johnny wondered as he slipped into the blackness that to him represented warmth and safety.

"He's out," Nurse Northstrom announced quietly, so as not to disturb Johnny. To witness this once vibrant and seemingly fearless young man reduced to this was unsettling to the seasoned nurse. In her thirty years of nursing, she had seen a lot, but nothing quite like this. It didn't help knowing who her charge was either.

"His b.p. is now 190/110, pulse is 140 and respiration's are 25," Nurse Fitz reported. "It looks like his pulse is dropping a bit more as are his reps."

"I'll take what I can get," Dr. Early said. "Hopefully, it will drop more if he can sleep some more."

Noticing the technician coming in, Dr. Early asked, "I'd like a full skull series stat. I'll wait up here if you don't mind, delivering the results here."

"That's no problem," was the reply.

Leaving the tech to his work, Dr. Early and the nurses gathered around the ICU desk. Sitting back in a chair, he thanked both of the nurses for their helped.

"Speaking for both Meggie and I, we don't mind in the least. I just hope Johnny gets well soon," Nurse Northstrom stated. "Now, if you two will excuse me, I need to go check on some patients."

"She's right, Dr. Early. You know my brother is a fellow firefighter, just in another county, and I am just doing what I'd like any nurse would do for him."

"Still, he's special, not just to me," Dr. Early said quietly.

"I know, he's family around here."

Clearing their throats, Dr. Early and Nurse Fitz became silent and lost in their thoughts for some time before Dr. Early moved on to a new topic.

"I'd like to change his medication to diazepam, 5 mg every two hours and drop the dexmedetomidine to .03 mg/kg per hour IV," he informed her as he made notes on Johnny's chart. "If that doesn't help him sleep, just page me and I'll bump it up. I'll be sleeping here tonight."

Nodding her head yes, she noticed the x-ray technician had returned.

"Looks as though the x-rays are back," she told him.

"Thanks," he said to both of them.

Standing up, he headed to the consultation room to view the x-rays. There, he noticed that aside from the injuries already noticed, the swelling was a bit more pronounced than it had been that morning.

_I wonder if this is due to the increase in blood pressure, _he wondered._ It could be, or it could also be a sign that there is bleeding there, but we just can't see it yet. The blood pressure could be an indicator of bleeding, as well as the mood. However, considering that Johnny has been upset all day and his b.p. has been climbing as it has gotten worse, tends to indicate that the swelling is more likely due to the blood pressure issue than a bleed. His blood pressure __**did**__ reduce after the diazepam. _

Deciding what to do, Dr. Early headed back and sought out Nurse Fitz, who had just finished another vitals check on Johnny.

"What is his blood pressure now?" he asked.

"180/110," Meggie smiled as she delivered the news. Yes, the numbers were slowly going down, but at least they were going down. That in itself was a minor victory.

Mirroring her smile, Dr. Early felt that the numbers reinforced his decision.

"That's great," he said. "I did see some additional swelling, but I do think it is because of his blood pressure. Hopefully, it will continue to go down and the swelling will as well. I would like an x-ray repeated at five this morning. When that's done, just have someone page me and I'll review it to see if things are going well. Page me, however if the blood pressure goes up or anything doesn't go well. I'm not going to call Roy unless I have to as I know he hasn't been sleeping well and I'd hate to disturb him."

"I will," Meggie promised.

With that, Dr. Early went to catch some sleep in one of the on-call rooms while Nurse Fitz settled into her station. Since she was pulling volunteer over-time until Roy could be with Johnny, her supervisor told her that unless there was a dire emergency, that her only responsibility was Johnny. That may make her night seem longer as she had no other patients to check on, but then again, as she knew first hand and had just seen, Johnny also liked to keep the medical staff on their toes.

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><p><strong>AN:<strong> I wanted to take the time to thank all of you who are so patiently waiting for me to write. I also want to thank everyone who has encouraged me to keep going (thanks crokettsgirl!). I also am extremely thankful for those of you who have pointed out issues in my chapters-things that needed to be fixed, spelling or grammar issues, etc. I am grateful for that, as than I can polish up the chapter and become a better writer. Again, thank you for your patience and willingness to come along on my first fan fiction writing journey!


	13. A Talk with the ER Boss

When Roy received the call from Dr. Brackett at 7:00 am asking him to come to his office upon arriving at Rampart, his heart leapt into his throat. Things were going well after the surgery, despite the regression that Roy had managed to ignore the cautions from the doctors that Johnny was not completely out of the woods yet. So, with that one phone call and a quick explanation to Joanne, instead of eating breakfast with the family before heading to the hospital as planned, by 7:10, Roy was on the road already. By 7:30, he was pacing the length of Dr. Brackett's office, waiting for him to finish with an emergency patient.

"Sorry for the wait, Roy. Why don't you have a seat," Dr. Brackett suggested as he entered after a nerve wrecking ten minute wait.

Complying, Roy sat on a chair across from the desk, bracing himself for bad news. As Dr. Brackett took the chair besides him, all Roy thought about was, did something else pop-up that they didn't see? Did John develop some sort of an infection? Did he slip into a coma? Did things worsen to the point that more brain damage was caused and this time, it was permanent?

It seemed as though his thoughts were punishing him for ignoring the fact that despite Johnny overcoming many difficulties and challenges already, Roy had blatantly ignored the fact Johnny was far from being out of danger. With the guilty and ghastly thoughts running rampant, Roy was grateful when Dr. Brackett finally finished organizing his thoughts and began speaking.

"After the two of you left last night, Johnny became more agitated as time went on and fought the medication we gave him. Eventually, it grew to the point where, despite increasing the medication, Johnny refused to allow himself to relax enough to sleep and it got to the point where he was very uncooperative with Nurse Fitz. What was worse, we believe his mood, as well as his state of mind, was effected his blood pressure, causing it to increase. I know you hate the idea of this, but around midnight, Johnny had to be restrained so that the nurses and Dr. Early could give him a sedative. It also allowed the x-rays Doctor Early had ordered to be taken. The skull series showed that the swelling had increased again, which was likely not helping John's mood or ability to cope.

"You know, as well as I and Doctor Early that that is not a good thing, so Dr. Early added 10 mg of diazepam every hour while dropping the dexmedetomidine a bit. It was not the ideal situation to reduce the dexmedetomidine then as we had hoped to wait until noon today," seeing the anger brewing on Roy's face for what he likely saw as a scenario where he should have been consulted, Dr. Brackett held up his hand. "Let me explain. Dr. Early knew that if John's blood pressure continued to rise, he could possibly have had a stroke, seizure, or more bleeding could have occurred. Also, Johnny ran the risk of brain herniation or permanent brain damage just from the pressure alone. By adding the diazepam, it means that Johnny can rest and not worry, which has brought his blood pressure down significantly.

"The reason for that Doctor Early reduced the dexmedetomidine twelve hours earlier than we had previously discussed is because that medication can interfere with the effectiveness of diazepam. Considering that the repeat x-ray at 5 am shows that the swelling, which had increased, is now back to where it was before the blood pressure issues, I have to agree with Dr. Early's decision. I am sure you think you should have been called and you would have, if things had not resolved as soon as they did or more complications had arisen. It was more important that you got rest as I am sure you haven't been sleeping too well."

Running his hands though his hair that he swore was even thinner than two weeks ago, Roy sighed heavily.

"You're right doc, and I trust you two, it's just that, well " stumbling over his thoughts, Roy couldn't figure out how to explain how he felt.

"I know," Dr. Brackett said softly. "Quite honestly, I had to force Dr. Early to go home after the last x-rays. Dixie hasn't been sleeping well and I think if it wasn't for the fact for her job, she would be lost. Half the time she spends her breaks just sitting doing nothing and the other half she spends trying to find out what she can to help Johnny."

"Yeah, I talked to Dix while I was waiting. She checks in on him whenever possible, but like she says, it's not the same when you have to be careful that the person you care about can't know you are there."

"Like you and Johnny, Dixie and he had, have, some sort of special connection," Dr. Brackett had to remind himself to speak in present terms. Just because Johnny didn't remember them at this moment, it didn't mean that they had to forget about him or the friendship they had.

"What about you, how are you doing?" Roy asked tentatively, unsure if he was overstepping his boundaries. However, the dark circles were a lot more pronounced than he had ever seen them on Dr. Brackett.

"This is scaring the heck out of me to be truthful. Right now, I am the doctor who is in charge of Johnny's case until tonight until the other neuro guy, Doc Swarl, comes in. Whenever John is awake and I am even in the same room, he gets this terrified look. I have no idea why, and although I am curious, I'm not sure if I want to know."

What Dr. Brackett didn't mention was that both he and Dixie were afraid that due to him being raised on a reservation until he was almost a teenager, some male figure misused his position after Johnny lost his parents. They were both worried that he suffered from some sort of abuse or trauma cause by someone in authority. Based on what they knew from his medical records and just knowing him through the years, they could reasonably deduce it didn't go to the point where physical evidence was left over. However, that still left verbal abuse and physical abuse was still a possibility.

Considering both of them were stressed beyond their normal limits, Dix and Kel both admitted to each other that they honestly didn't know how the DeSoto's were handling things as well as they were. Both of them were struggling to function normally and carrying on as they needed to in the emergency room. They were so much alike in the fact the frustration over not being to do much of anything meant that the two of them had to force themselves to eat and sleep at times.

Kel Brackett just wondered how Dixie managed to hide that at times while working, she would need to hide away in his office, just to escape. He knew without the solitude of this office that allowed her to grieve and just take a breather, she may have well broken down in front of others. Dixie felt as though she needed to be strong for everyone and thus, no one but him saw the tears, anger, worries, or frustration.

Then again, he reflected. Dix is the only one I have really allowed myself to vent my worries and frustrations to as well. I don't know how she does her job like these days are like any other days. Even I know I am more impatient than usual and have a problem with my temper around the staff. Thankfully, they are more than understanding. Even Mike Morton has been helping out more here in the Emergency department isn't so unusual, but I never would have though he'd willingly offer his help with Johnny's case considering how the two of them have gotten along before.

Giving himself a mental shake, Dr. Brackett returned to a topic he would rather avoid. Besides, there was a rare look of impatience on Roy's face and he really didn't want to push Roy. If he, as only a good friend of John's on the job was having such a difficult time coping with the realities of the head injuries, Roy must be going through sheer hell.

"Who knows what happened between the time his parents died and his aunt brought him to California? Maybe someday, Johnny will tell us."

Moving on quickly, Dr. Brackett said, "Anyway, the other two subjects I wanted to discuss is that Dr. Druthers says you can go see him for your appointment between 9:30 and 11 am. After that, you can choose either a set time for the next day or have a general time in the morning you would like to see him. He said to have Joanne come on up anytime after you're appointment and the kids can come see him right after school. While waiting for their sessions, I cleared it so they can go to the peds playroom."

"Why is he so flexible about the time?" Roy questioned suspiciously.

"Dr. Druthers was actually set to go on a working sabbatical for about four to five months in a week so the took this week off. Since this was an opportunity of his choosing, he was able to postpone for another time. Dr. Early and I were putting out feelers for who might be able to help since we had assumed he'd be unable to, but thankfully, after hearing about this situation, he was more than willing to help. In the past, Dr. Druthers has worked with Dr. Bates, a psychologist who specializes in traumatic brain injuries. Druthers told me that in between, he can do research that will help your family, prepare handouts, notes and a rough schedule to help your family and crew, as well as start to figure out where everyone can visit New Horizons. Once he learns more about what the specific needs are, he will be able to modify and ensure that the notes and schedule will work out for everyone. You will be in great hands.

"I guess at least we have that one thing on our side," Roy sarcastically observed.

"The other topic is the fact that since we have Johnny on the diazepam and it is working well so far, we would like to continue to do so for the next two days, perhaps even three days. As you know, at least it won't require him to be intubated and both Doctor Early and I feel this might be the best way to help him heal. It will give the swelling a way to hopefully diminish faster as well as help his body heal from the cuts and burns. The only downside would be that it may push back his therapy, both with the physical and Dr. Druthers, but it wouldn't be much of a setback."

"Sure doc, that sounds fine. We can sit visit though, right?"

"Of course. Whenever you'd like. He may benefit from it, as even with all the medications, Johnny is still fidgeting."

"Typical," Roy smiled a small, worn out smile. "Just give me whatever paperwork you need me to sign and then if you don't mind, I think I am going to visit with Johnny for a bit before heading to see Doctor Druthers."

"Sounds good," Dr. Brackett patted him on the back as he got up to get the needed paperwork. "Take your time. When you're ready, you can find Druthers on the 8th floor, room 816."

Signing the forms out, Roy nodded and thanked him again before opening the office door to leave. Once outside the office, he headed to the nearest men's room. Sitting down inside a stall, he tilted his head back and for the first time since this whole incident began, tried to swallow down bitter tears that were forming. He just honestly didn't know what he would do without Johnny in his life and it had finally started to sink in how close he had come to losing John, not to mention, there was still too many things that could go wrong. Deciding that sitting around feeling miserable wasn't going to help, Roy got up, washed his face and headed out, once again determined to keep fighting.

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><p><strong>AN: <strong>Brain herniation puts extreme pressure on parts of the brain and thereby cuts off the blood supply to various parts of the brain. It is often fatal.

**Symptoms:**

Cardiac arrest

Coma

Headache

Lethargy

Loss of all brainstem reflexes (such as blinking, gagging, pupils reacting to light)

Loss of consciousness

Respiratory Arrest

Wide (dilated) pupils and no movement in one or both eyes


	14. Roy's Therapy Session: Day 1

**AN: **Yes, this is long and I am sorry about that, but I feel it is important to the story. The ending is coming closer! Thank you for reading this and keep reviewing! It keeps me wanting to write more!

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><p>After spending a half-hour by Johnny's side, Roy reluctantly made his way to the 8th floor to meet with Dr. Druthers. Taking the stairs to avoid in an effort to avoid anyone, Roy examined his reluctance at the idea of going to see a therapist.<p>

_I've seen a therapist before, granted it was the department therapist and was mandatory due to a call or work related situation. I never had an issue with that before,_ _so why is today so different? _Roy pondered the situation and slowly realized the difference. _It's because this time, I feel as though my job isn't resting on the evaluation of one or two sessions, but rather my family as we define it is depending on these sessions. Doctor Early made it clear that unless this therapist made him feel as though we could handle dealing with Johnny and possible difficulties, he wouldn't release Johnny into our care. Considering how much of a part of our family Johnny is, I can't even imagine what it would be like __**NOT**__ to have him included in our daily lives anymore. _

Abruptly cut off from his introspection by almost running into a tall, black hair, deeply tanned man in his forties in Dr. Druthers waiting room, Roy let out a gasp of surprise. Assuming correctly that this gentleman was the doctor he was sent to see, Roy tried to recover.

"Sorry, I wasn't expecting you to umm, well, to…" fumbling, Roy trailed off, embarrassed by his lack of awareness.

_This is surely a horrible way of meeting someone who will be judging my every move and thought,_ Roy criticized himself.

"Don't worry about it," Dr. Druthers pleasantly said as he smiled. "If it helps, I was startled as well. I was just on my way to see if some copies I wanted were ready, but I can always do that later. Why don't you come in?"

Stepping into the door that was held open, Roy glanced around the office quickly. The square room was simply done in a muted cream color, with a big window facing the ER parking lot. On the left hand wall there were bookcases filled with various textbooks related to psychology. The door just managed to open without hitting any of them. In the right hand corner was a small table and two chairs designed for children. There was also an open toy box next to the table and Roy could see that it was filled with various toys. The furniture wasn't at all what he was expecting either. Although there was a desk, it was much smaller than expected and was located in the right corner at a diagonal.

_It almost seems as though someone said the doctor needed a desk and so he chose the simplest as well as the smallest one possible,_ Roy thought in amazement. This seemed unusually to him as in his experience, doctors tended to have large desks where they could hide behind when needed.

Instead, what appeared to be the office chair was pulled to the side of the desk, as if the doctor wasn't used to sitting behind it. The chair faced a sofa in the middle of the room; there was also another sofa in the middle of the large window. An arm chair, like one might find at home, was on the right-hand wall, giving the room a cozy, but somewhat overcrowded look. Nothing really quite matched, yet nothing clashed in such a way that you would think someone just dumped whatever was available in this room.

"Feel free to sit where ever you'd like," Dr. Druthers told him when he saw Roy was done assessing the room.

Choosing the sofa in the middle of the room, Roy waited as the doctor settled himself on the armchair across from him.

"First of all, feel free to call me Dr. Druthers, Dr. D. or even Karl. Is it okay to call you Roy?" seeing Roy give his consent, Karl Druthers went on. "I believe you have been in therapy before, in regards to your job, is that correct?"

"Yes, a few times when the department decided to make it mandatory," Roy admitted.

"Whew, makes my job a bit easier, so we'll just deal with all the legal mumble jumble quickly and move on," Dr. Druthers joked, waving his hand carelessly. "I just need to remind you that whatever you say in here remains in here, unless I feel you are a danger to yourself or to others. I am not allowed to break that confidently without a court's petition and even then, I will censor the information that is given to what is being asked. Rarely have these cases come up, but in those times, I usually give the court less than what they would like unless it would serve some better purpose as I feel that doctor/patient confidently shouldn't have so many loopholes. In the case here, things are going to be a bit looser, as Doctor Early does want to make sure you and your family are prepared for what may or may not happen.

"What this means is that I will tell him some of the topics we cover during our sessions, although I will not say whether they were individual or part of the group session whenever possible. I will try not to give specifics on what we talked about and just give him my recommendation that based on those topics covered, I feel you are, or are not, ready to handle Johnny living in your home. I may also recommend continued counseling or other things before he is released to your care. If he is released into your care, I may also recommend other things as well. If I do make recommendations, I highly suggest you follow them in order to ensure that your family has the best chance at succeeding and doing well. At any time, if there is something that you would like to keep between us however, please, speak up and tell me. I will do my best to avoid discussing that with anyone.

"These same guidelines will apply for your entire family. I know this may be difficult, but I will not discuss Christopher's or Jennifer's sessions with you or your wife. They need a safe place where they can discuss how they feel, what they are thinking, their own worries and concerns," the doctor cautioned. "The only exception would be is if I feel that there is something you need to know, but I will likely wait to bring that up in the family sessions and will let them know ahead of time what I plan on doing.

"My goals here are as follows: first, I want to make sure you and your family what can possibly take place because of a traumatic brain injury, what the short term and long term effects may be due to this injury, not just for Johnny, but for each member of your family. Second of all, I want to help you all think through all the options, even what you may consider unpleasant options, for Johnny and your family so that you are aware of them. Third, I want to help you to accept the situation as it is, deal with the long-term possibilities and the effect it can have on your family. Next, if I feel that your family can handle the emotional burden, I want to help you come together as a family to devise a plan and schedule to deal with Johnny's medical needs, while taking into account that you need to take care of yourselves as well. There may be other goals, ideas or whatnot that I add onto this list, but for right now, this is where I feel we should begin.

"I know this is a lot of information to handle," Dr. Druthers apologized. "But, I figure that since I want you to be up front and honest with me, I should be up front and honest with you as well. If it helps at all, it doesn't look as daunting as that paper I just gave you. We have as much time as you are willing to put in."

Looking over the sheet of paper with the goals, Roy dipped his head down before raising his head to glimpse at the doctor. Seeing only compassion, honesty, and willingness, he felt better about the situation.

"Now, I have just a couple questions, and please, don't feel offended, but I thought it best to get these out of the way," Dr. Druthers said. "I would like to know if this is something you still would like to do and put your time into. I also would like to know why you are doing this considering you are under no obligation to do anything like this for Johnny."

A flash of anger came over Roy's face.

"He may not be family in the sense of the fact he is related by blood, but he _is_ family," Roy bit out. "I know I may not have any legal obligation, but I _do_ have a moral one. I can't imagine just leaving him alone in some place where he may or may not get better. He needs to be with his family. He needs to be with people who love him, people who care about him. It's not just me who feels this way. It's my whole family who has adopted him… I mean, how could I do any less for him?"

Smiling, Dr. Druthers reassured him, "I am glad you feel that way. That is the type of people Johnny needs on his side right now."

"Thanks."

"So, what do you think is the hardest thing for you to deal with at this moment?" Karl asked.

Pausing to think, Roy wasn't sure what to say.

"There is a lot actually. I can't imagine how he feels thinking he just lost his parents. Then, I feel like my best friend is gone… I mean, he's right there, but he's not," Roy paused again, clearing his throat at a sudden rush of emotions. "I feel so guilty that I couldn't get to him faster. Or notice something was wrong at Jenny's birthday party. Maybe if I had, things wouldn't be so bad now. I want to help, but I just don't know how."

"Let's just take this one thing at a time, alright? You feel guilty because you didn't notice him feeling ill. I heard what symptoms Johnny had that day, so besides a head injury, could something else have been going on?"

Admitting that, yes, other things could have been going on, from not sleeping well to the start of the flu, Roy added, "I know that in my head, it's just that I wish I could change things."

"Unfortunately, we can't change the past," Doctor Druthers said sympathetically. "You didn't know what happened and it sounds as though Johnny wasn't aware either. As far as him getting hurt in the explosion, he was doing his job, correct?"

"Yes," Roy admitted reluctantly.

"Do you believe that he could or should have done anything differently?"

"No! John worked as fast as he could, it's just that time was against us, what with the fire moving so quickly. If it hadn't been for the gas cans being stored, things probably would have been fine. Danger is just a part of the job."

"Again, you yourself have pointed out that it seems there were no other options than for what happened to have happened," Dr. Druthers calmly drew attention to the facts. "I am sure it is difficult to accept it, so I'd like you to work on is trying to accept it."

Seeing the nod of agreement, he went on.

"Now, unfortunately, feeling like you lost your best friend..." sighing, Dr. Druthers paused, hating to say what he knew he should say and leaned forward. "Right now, you need to remember that in a sense, you have lost your friend. Who he _was_ is not who he is right now and as hard as it may be to hear, Johnny may never be who he was. Allow yourself to grieve for who he was and hope that someday, you can find him again, but prepare yourself for a future where things remain as they are. You need to focus on being who Johnny needs, which is an authority figure who can direct him and help him navigate life. Someone who can help him deal with the loss of his parents. By trying to learn to accept this, as difficult as it may be, it will help. I am not saying give up hope, but it will take months at the very least for Johnny to recover and even then, Dr. Early has told me that he doesn't know for sure whether he will recover fully or not."

Reeling back, Roy sank into the sofa feeling as if he had been physically punched. He had been holding onto the idea that any time now, Johnny, or at least the Johnny he had known, would be back. Being told to let that idea go made him feel physically ill.

_I guess it does make sense. By mourning for who he was, maybe it will be easier to accept things. And at least there will be reminders of him, no matter what. How do I begin to act as though he is gone when he is still here? _Roy was lost in his thoughts and didn't realize that his eyes had begun to water.

"Roy," Doctor Druthers softly asked, touching him on the hand. Seeing that Roy had been startled out of his contemplations, he quickly apologized.

"Sorry. I know that asking that of you is going to be hard, but I think for you, considering how close you two are and how much you have relied on Johnny throughout the years, it may be the best way to come to terms with the situation. If you can find a way to accept things without doing so however, more power to you. It would help if you have someone else at work that you could talk to, that might understand what you're going through and someone who has been there for you in the past during times when Johnny's been off of work."

"Mike…" Roy softly stated. "He offered to listen anytime, well, so did everyone, but he has an autistic sister so he might understand better than others. Otherwise, I usually talk to whoever I guess. It all depends on the situation and such."

"That's good, try to learn how to reach out to Mike when you miss talking to Johnny since he seems willing," Dr. Druthers encouraged.

"I will," Roy promised, but his heart still ached at the thought of being unable to talk to Johnny about the random, trivial everyday things as they had in the past temporary.

_Just please God, just please let this be temporary,_ Roy pleaded.

"Are you okay?" Karl asked compassionately.

"I think so. It's just hard to accept."

"Why don't you tell me about what roles Johnny has played in your life before this accident?" Doctor Druthers inquired.

Smiling softly, Roy went on to tell him how he had met Johnny almost ten years ago when he was recruiting for the paramedic program. He wasn't sure that Johnny would actually sign up, but he was so thankful he did. All the questions he had and information he had looked up beforehand made it clear to Roy that Johnny wanted to do more than simply rescue people from whatever situation they found themselves in before rushing them off to the hospital. Like Roy, John had a drive to help more. With his natural curiosity, he got top marks in the paramedic program. That, along with how well they had hit it off during training convinced Roy to ask Johnny to become his partner.

"It was one of the better decisions I made, doc," Roy proudly claimed. "We just clicked and found a good rhythm fairly quickly that allowed us to become one of the better team of paramedics."

"When did you introduce him to your family?" prodded Doctor Druthers. He was hoping to find out more about the bonds between not only Roy and Johnny, but also between the DeSoto family and Johnny as well from Roy's perspective.

"It was just after he had graduated from training, I was just retaking the course. I had already gone through it at a different hospital," Roy explained, seeing the confusion on Karl's face. "John had been invited before, but he kept putting it off until then. I said since he was going to be partnered up with me he should meet my family. He was still unsure, but he came home with me. I know Joanne wasn't too sure about him at first. Something about him being too young and she was sort of right, he was only 21, but he had almost two years of rescue under him.

"It took him a while to warm up to Jo because of her attitude but she eventually got over it. Not sure how to this day," Roy scratched his left ear with a puzzled look on his face. "I think the only reason he kept coming over, despite the fact of how Jo acted was because of the kids. He fell in love with Jenny as soon as I put her in his arms even though he was scared out of his mind at the thought at first."

Laughing, Roy could clearly recall the terror pasted on Johnny's face as Roy went to place three month old Jennifer in his arms. Despite his protests of never holding a baby and saying that he was terrified of hurting her, he seemed to be a natural at it. This look of awe just came over Johnny's face when Jenny looked at him. To top it off, when Chris saw that his sister wasn't afraid of him, he crawled up on the couch next to him and curled up next to him as well.

"Sounds as though it was rough at first," Karl sympathized as he settled back in his chair a bit.

"It was, but I think Jo learned after a few months that despite his seemingly youthful innocence and carefree attitude, on the job, he was dedicated and serious. As she learned more about him, she just seemed to accept him more and more. I think he finally became family after the monkey virus though."

Extremely curious as he had never heard of any such thing, Doctor Druthers had to repeat, "Monkey virus?"

Nodding yes, Roy explained how playing with a simple monkey resulted in five people coming down with a virus transmitted through a virus from overseas-the person who brought the animal over, Dr. Brackett, Johnny, and a fireman who ended up dying before a cure was found. Thankfully, the fifth person who had had the virus didn't become too ill and their blood was used for a cure. However, Johnny was still fairly weak afterwards and needed help for a while. Since he had no family in the area, Jo and he offered to take him to their house to recover for a week or two. The two weeks turned into three weeks, as his kids just didn't want him to go home. Neither did Joanne, as she was worried that being by himself in his apartment, he might overdo things, not take care of himself properly or eat well either.

Hearing that, Karl had to laugh. "Sounds like your wife took over things."

"Yea, she did, and boy, did Johnny protest at first," Roy told him with a smile. "I just let him know that it was of no use though. Once she gets an idea in her head, its best to stand back and follow orders when needed. Honestly, I was just glad they were getting along better and I think they were finally able to work out whatever issues they had between them. She protects him like a big sister."

"And you're the big brother?" Dr. Druthers confirmed.

"Chris and Jenny have grown up thinking he was their uncle. It took them years to realize we weren't related by blood, but it just means that he needs extra love and 't.l.c.', according to them. He does have an aunt, but let's just say that Ms. Gage only cares enough that she wants to know he is alive yet it seems and has more or less washed her hands of anything else."

"Unfortunately, it seems some people are like that. And according to my notes, it says that," Doctor Druthers looked down at his notes to make sure he got the information right. "Johnny lost his parents at age seven, yet his aunt didn't take him to California until he was about twelve years old. Do you know where he was or what took place during that time?"

"No, and she wouldn't inform me," Roy said in disgust. "Claimed it wasn't any of my business. Yet, she says also that it is my business to sign medical and legal documents until Johnny is able to as I am listed as next of kin and I am also his medical power of attorney. I am not sure how she figures that one out. She would like me to help him, yet she refuses to give me any information that may help Johnny."

"That does sound frustrating," Karl agreed. "We can't dictate others actions, only our reactions to them. I will write a note about this, and perhaps we can find out where Johnny specifically thinks he is supposed to be at, such as a foster home or children's home."

Although he was still frustrated over having to possibly upset Johnny, Roy felt better that at least someone might know how to bring up such a topic.

With those issues covered, Dr. Druthers and Roy spent some of the remaining time discussing how Roy might feel about being a parental type figure to John. Most of the time was spent in laughter as Roy shared the numerous times he spent having to look after John already. Trouble always seemed to find Johnny, and without someone looking after him, Roy wasn't sure how Johnny would muddle through some days.

"Although, despite the fact I have to make sure he behaves so he doesn't get in trouble at work," Roy confessed. "Joanne is the one who is really more of a parent to him. Whenever he is laid up due to an injury or an illness, she forces him to stay at our house until he is able to manage on his own. She also makes him eat with us at least once a week to get a home cooked meal in him. Johnny somehow has even gotten her to help him out when he needs a button sewn on or clothes repaired. I'm still trying to figure out how he got her to help him out with those since our kids have learned how to repair buttons. By now, I just know better than to ask when he comes over with clothes to be repaired. We usually end up with free babysitting and movie tickets anyway, so I guess I can't complain.

"The kids grew up with him always being there for them. Whether as another playmate, a babysitter whenever Joanne and I wanted or needed to go out, or just another adult they trusted. As much as the other members of the stations are also their 'uncles', the three of them just seem to have more of a bond. Jenny can only get Johnny to play dolls or tea party with her. They even seem to have preferred at times having him read their bedtime stories rather than Jo or I since he is better at voices than us."

Dr. Druthers started laughing, amused by the dynamics between the family members. Steering the conversation in a new direction, he asked Roy a difficult direction.

"It sounds like John has been an essential part of your kid's lives and has helped guide them through the years. How do you think this injury will affect them?"

"Uhh, honestly, I don't know," Roy admitted softly, rubbing his hands on his legs. "Jo and I are worried about it. I talked about it with Cap a bit and well, I don't know if this is the right way to deal with it, but I am hoping that one of the other guys I work with will help out. I know that there are just some cases where being around mom or dad is not wanted and especially with Chris nearing his twelfth birthday, he has talked to Johnny about things bothering him before coming to us about them. I relay, or should say, have relied, on Johnny's guidance. With Jennifer, she tends to place Johnny into more of a friend role still, so I am not quite as worried as I know she has quite a few good friends.

"Jo was the one who pointed out we will end up having to figure out a lot of different things, considering how much we have come to depend on Johnny. I mean, yeah, the guys will help out when they can, as will their families, but neither one of us wants Jenny or Chris to feel as if we are abandoning them. On the other hand, we want to make sure that Johnny has a safe, loving place to heal in."

"I'm glad you two realize those things, and I will do my best to teach you ways of dealing with this situation," Karl promised. "Do you have any other fears, worries, or anything?"

"I guess, well," clearly a bit uncomfortable, Roy paused. "I wish I knew how to prepare for questions he might have or things like that. Do I tell him right now that we know where his aunt is, but she doesn't want him? Or what? And how do we reassure him that it is okay to trust me and my family? Stuff like that I guess."

Nodding, Doctors Druthers, took the questions one at a time.

"I would assume John would likely ask why he will eventually come home with you, if that is the best decision for him. If so, considering his aunt is elderly and has no wish to deal with this, I would say that she is simply not well enough to take care of him and thinks that perhaps your family would be the best place for him. As far as him learning to trust you, not to mention trust others and learn how to cope with this situation, I'm afraid that it will take time."

"That is one thing Johnny is not good with. I am not sure he ever was," Roy conceited with an impish grin.

Deciding to end the session on a good note, the doctor told Roy that tomorrow they would talk some more like they did today and start figuring out how best to deal with some issues that were addressed today.

"Feel free to come on up and talk to me today if you feel the need. Otherwise, just send up Joanne when she gets her and you can send the kids up here after school. While one of them is in session, the other can either wait in the outer office or go on down to the peds floor. Dixie cleared it so that it would be fine for them to be in the playroom. I will be here for about an hour after your two kids leave tonight and will be back tomorrow around 8:30 a.m. so come on up any time after that, alright?"

"I will, thanks," Roy said gratefully. The session wasn't as bad as he had thought it would be and although there were some hard facts to face, at least now, he had a starting place. That alone boosted his spirits, even if it was a small amount.


	15. Joanne's Therapy Session: Day 1

**AN: **No, the therapy sessions won't all be long! Just hang on, it will get interesting soon!

* * *

><p>After leaving Dr. Druthers' office, Roy headed down to the cafeteria to grab a quick snack. Being that it was only around 9 a.m. and that he and Jo wouldn't be getting lunch until noon, Roy knew that he needed a small meal to tide himself over. Quickly consuming the toasted egg sandwich and orange juice, Roy made his way back up to the ICU, eager to be back by Johnny's side. Despite the tranquilizing effects of diazepam, Johnny still seemed as though he was a bit anxious and couldn't completely relax in sleep.<p>

I have no idea how he is still vaguely aware of what is going on considering the dosage should knock anyone out. The doctors aren't sure either, all they know is that John is sleeping deep enough that his blood pressure has come down quite a bit and that is helping him heal better. Strange too that the nurses also find that his blood pressure lowers a bit more when I am here,Roy contemplated and mentally shrugged. At least I am able to do something, even if it is just sitting here and reassuring him every once in a while that everything is okay.

"How is he doing?" Joanne asked softly as she came in the room.

"Better than last night I'm told," Roy reassured her before explaining the anxiety Johnny had experienced and the increased swelling that took place. "That's why the docs are going to keep him on a sedative for a few days. It'll help him sleep and in turn, should help the swelling heal better."

"Still a bit restless though, huh?" she observed, seeing Johnny attempt to move some.

Quieting Johnny down before answering, Roy said self-consciously, "Yea, but it seems to help that I am here."

Giving her husband a look that said he would be an idiot to think otherwise, Jo moved on.

"Do you think Doctor Druthers is in his office yet?"

"Should be, let me call him real quick," Roy answered as he used the phone to do so. "He said to come on up any time you're ready."

Tucking the blankets under Johnny's chin more securely while being careful of the IV's, Joanne gave him a quick kiss on the forehead. While Joanne informed the nurse that her husband would be back shortly, Roy stood up and promised Johnny that he would be back after showing Jo to the office. With those issues taken care of, Roy guided Joanne up to Dr. Druthers office. Upon arriving, he knocked on the inner office to let the doctor know they had arrived.

"Hi, doc, this is my wife, Joanne," Roy said, introducing her to him, knowing that Jo was a bit nervous about the meeting. "Jo, this is Dr. Druthers.

Getting up to shake her hand, he offered, "You can call me doc, Dr. Druthers or Karl, whatever you feel most comfortable with."

"Thanks," Joanne replied.

Giving her hand a quick squeeze, Roy promised that if she needed anything to just call down to Johnny's room.

"Otherwise, I'll see you after the appointment," he told her.

Nodding, Joanne let go and watched as he left the office. Realizing she was alone and didn't have a clue how to begin, Jo smiled weakly at Doctor Druthers.

"Why don't you have a seat anywhere you'd like," Karl proposed, attempting to ease her nerves.

"Thank you," Jo politely said before sitting on the couch by the window. Smoothing down her skirt, she glanced around the room, surprised at how well decorated it was.

There is no way he could have put this office together like this, Joanne thought with amusement. As much as guys try, it seems they just don't have the ability to pull things together.

Less intimated with this realization, she felt herself relax and worry less about topics that would be discussed as the room gave her the feeling that Dr. Druthers wanted his patients to be in a warm, caring environment as well as feel safe and comfortable.

"I take it you haven't been in therapy before?" Doctor Druthers asked, pulling Joanne from her thoughts.

"No," Jo laughed awkwardly. "Is it that obvious?"

Smiling at her, Doctor Druthers moved his office chair so it was facing the couch more.

"A bit, but don't worry. I will make this as painless as possible, okay? Also, just for the record, I am fairly informal here, so call me Karl, Dr. D, or if you feel the need, Dr. Druthers," he said. Seeing her nod, he went on, "I do need to go over a few things before we get started and feel free to ask any questions about anything I go over. You can interrupt at any time."

With that said, the doctor started going over the same legal information he had gone over with her husband just a couple of hours before, only a bit more involved. Dr. Druthers also went over what he felt the main goals were at that time. Joanne had no issues with all the information and after he was done explaining, she felt a lot more comfortable with how things would progress.

Plans are always a good thing, even if they are merely outlines of a plan, Jo reflected.

"Tell me about the first time you meet Johnny," Karl implored.

"Oh, boy, it wasn't exactly good," Joanne snorted and rolled her eyes. "I know he is only three years younger than Roy and I, but Roy has always seemed older than his age. The first time I met him, he seemed so uncertain about everything. Yes, he was polite, almost too polite I thought. I don't know why I thought he was too polite or how it was possible to be too polite. It just seemed to cover up something. As soon as I would leave the room, he'd loosen up some. It was as if without me around, Johnny had a tendency to be, well, I don't know… more himself, maybe and at that time, it seemed like he had too much of a carefree and reckless attitude. He'd also just tended to ramble and never discuss things of importance. Being single didn't help in my eyes I guess. I didn't think he'd be good around kids, but he proved me wrong."

Smiling at the memory of him meeting her kids that first time Johnny came over, Joanne was startled when Doctor Druthers asked her what changed her mind about him.

"It was the little things. First, it was him holding my daughter and interacting with Chris when he first came over. How Johnny acted around them made me a bit more willing to give him a chance. Soon after, even before the paramedic bill passed, I heard about him saving Roy and getting injured in the process. Thankfully, the injury was minor. Then, I don't know, over time, he started coming over more and more. He showed me who he really was and that was someone who was young, hyper. Someone who couldn't sit still to save his life, but someone who was above all, caring, compassionate and would help out wherever he could.

"Johnny had no problems helping Roy with any of the repairs that needed to done or wood working projects, like when we needed a new tool shed put up. If we needed a babysitter, it never mattered what he was doing, Johnny was always willing to help out unless he was injured or ill. I know he had even canceled dates to help us out and would set aside time to do special activities with the kids individually. Overtime, he just became a fixture and a family member. I know Johnny had always thought he had benefited more since he only has an aunt, but honestly, I think our family is the one who has."

"Maybe all of you are just lucky," Karl observed.

"Maybe," Joanne conceded.

Silence followed for a moment before the doctor moved on.

"Since you aren't in the medical field, and please, don't take offense to this, I'd like you to tell me what you believe are the problems facing Johnny right now."

"From what I understand, he thinks that he's about seven years old and still lives where he grew up. According to Roy, his aunt believes his parents died in September, so to Johnny, the loss of his parents is fairly recent. For a child of that age, death has to be a hard concept to deal with and there is also the fact that his sense of security, family and place in the world has disappeared suddenly. Personally, I can't imagine it and that is a major challenge that those around him will have to help Johnny cope with," Jo began. "Then, from what I have observed and from what his doctors have said, he is experiencing a lot of anxiety and mood swings. As my daughter reminded us, considering all he is trying to deal with, it's not hard to understand why Johnny is experiencing these extreme moods, although I believe that there might be other reasons why as well. I'm not sure really why I think that way, I guess since I've seen him confused from minor head injuries, in pain from various injuries or illness and whatnot. It's just something I can't put my finger on…

"Anyway, Johnny is also dealing with being in pain from an event he can't remember and being in pain is hard enough for him. At least, it has always been so since we've known him. I'm not sure how he dealt with pain as a kid. We really don't know much about him as a kid, in fact," Jo realized. "Besides these challenges, we were told he has weakness in his muscle, but honestly, I don't really understand that. If I had to guess, I'd assume that means that he would have issues with his strength? The one good thing seems to be that even though he doesn't know Roy, the two of them still seem to have a bond and Johnny is somewhat willing to allow Roy in and trust him."

Impressed by her outlook, Dr. Druthers stared at her for a moment.

"I must say Joanne, you have surprised me in many ways."

Blushing, Jo just shrugged, "I am a mom and if I don't pay attention, chaos tends to reign."

"It isn't just your observation skills, although you were right about the issues we know that John is facing at this time. It is also the fact that you seem to be accepting that he is a child. You seem to be able to acknowledge how things are and not dwell on what may happen or could happen."

"I think it comes from being a firefighter's wife for so many years. If I didn't stay focused on what the present was like, all I'd do was worry about the future and what could happen to my husband and Johnny. That would just eat me alive and I'd never have any peace, nor could I enjoy life," Jo said modestly.

"That is a wonderful attitude and way to go through life," Karl praised her. "It will certainly help you out in this situation. How do you think Roy, Chris and Jennifer are dealing with this situation however? And what worries do you have?"

Pausing to gather her thoughts, Jo mentally inventoried how everyone had been reacting to the current circumstances and the discussions that had been held throughout Johnny's hospitalization.

"Roy's having a difficult time facing the situation. Despite all that he sees in his job, when it comes to family, he hates thinking the worst could happen. He needs to find a way to accept that this is what is right now and realize that things may never be what they were again. He is trying so hard, but it's difficult and he forgets at times what the situation is. I feel so…sad, I guess, for him. He has other friends, namely the Station 51 crew, but he and Johnny have had a much deeper bond than anyone else. Even if this situation doesn't last, he will need to find someone else to lean on, another guy to talk with and that'll be hard for him. Roy isn't the type who is good at being free with his thoughts and emotions. Johnny has always been able to bring those aspects out in him with his energy and love of life.

"Chris too is going to have more difficulty with this situation than Jenny or I. Again, this is because he has relied on Johnny for guy stuff or guy talks that he'd rather not discuss with his dad. Johnny has always made sure that we know about the stuff they talk about if it's important, don't get me wrong," Joanne hastened to add. "But I am not sure anyone could fill that void even a bit. Although Chris thinks he understands what is happening, until he sees for himself how much has changed, I doubt he will truly get it. The same goes for Jenny as I think knowing and really knowing is just too difficult for them to grasp," Joanne took a deep breath.

"As far as Jenny goes, she has lost a playmate whom she loves to death. It'll be a major change for her as well and although she doesn't exactly talk to him about personal issues, she does rely on Johnny for other things. Things like someone to help her shop for her Christmas gifts now that she is older and has spending money, help planning her birthday parties, simple yet important things like that," pausing, Joanne surreptitiously wiped at her eyes as tears formed.

I don't know how either one of my babies could get over losing their Uncle Johnny. The thought of them having to grieve for them as if he was gone, even if it is for a short time is almost too painful for me to think about, Joanne thought. He has been such a huge part of our lives for so long that I can't imagine how they would handle it.

Sighing once again, Jo shook herself mentally in order to free herself from the grim thoughts, knowing that allowing herself to be sucked into them would only hurt herself and her family.

Continuing to answer the doctor's questions, Jo told him, "Johnny's been involved with our lives so much that it's going to be a major adjustment for everyone. I worry that the kids are going to feel neglected as we attempt to get into a routine that involves a child-like Johnny. I worry that Roy will sacrifice being a Fire Captain for a Paramedic Captain so that he has a more routine job and ends up being miserable because he misses the excitement. I worry that his friends and our neighbors will end up finding things too difficult and stop helping deal with any issues that may come up for one reason or another. It isn't a huge worry of mine though as the guys Roy works with, along with their families, have become a part of our family over the years. If anything, I'm more worried that our family won't be able to handle the situation and Johnny will end up in some home that breaks his spirit and we let him down in some way. I worry that our family won't be able to heal his spirit," Jo realized she was rambling and started fidgeting with her purse handle.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to go off like that. It's just…" stopping, Jo turned red.

I can't believe how stupid I am sounding! At this rate, he will think there is no way our family and our home is where Johnny belongs! Jo berated herself.

"It's okay," Doctor Druthers softly assured her. "Trust me, I am actually glad to hear all this. In fact, it's encouraging to know how much thought you have put into all of this. You are level-headed in my opinion. Not many are as introspective as you have been. These are all issues we need to go over in order to make sure that Johnny is placed in the best environment for not only physical healing, but help him heal emotional as well. You just answered some questions I was going to ask before I could get them out."

Laughing, Joanne felt a lot better and a bit less crazy.

"So, this is fairly normal?" she asked.

"Yes, and I promise, I will try to answer what I can. Granted, not all of these things can be addressed as of yet, but we will work on it."

Nodding her head in the affirmative, Joanne listened as Karl began addressing her worries.

"As far as your husband goes, I would like to discuss your worries with him one-on-one, if you don't mind. I won't mention that you brought them up as I have my own reasons for not doing so, but you may let him know if you wish," Doctor Druthers said.

"That's fine."

"Good. Now, as far as your kids go," he said, leaning back in his chair. "That will take some effort. I already plan on talking with both Chris and Jenny today that they needed to accept that Johnny as completely different person than who they knew. There are other subjects I will approach with them, but as of right now, I'm not going to bring them up here.

"What will help out both of them is that they stick to as much of the same routine as possible. I can understand that with the situation as it is, you may need someone else needs to pick them up from school or after-school activities. However, as much as possible, I'd like the two of you to make an effort to have dinner with them nightly. That way, if it is determined that your home is the best place for Johnny, you will already have an established routine. Of course, if someone is gone, for whatever reason, just have whoever is home sit down together for dinner.

"Try to have a chore schedule set up if you don't already. I feel that it is vital that if Johnny goes home with you that he be included in as much of the family activities as possible. What he is able to do will depend on what his doctors says and how he is healing of course. The point is to make him feel a part of the family and again, by having a schedule set-up, it will help immensely."

"Can I have this written down?" Joanne asked, feeling intimidated by the amount of information.

"Opps, sorry," Karl sheepishly said. "Here is a notepad and pen."

After handing that over and giving her time to write down the notes, he continued.

"Allow Chris and Jenny keep any of the summer activities they were planning on. Again, make sure that you or your husband drop up or pick them up if you normally would have if possible. If it isn't for some reason, I would explain it to your children as they are old enough to understand and then set-up something a bit special just for them. It will also help if you set aside time for just them. For example, it would be helpful if you just spend some time with Jenny and then just some time with Chris. Family time will be one of the main keys to making this situation work. Another other key is to take care of yourself," Dr. Druthers directed. "If you allow yourself to become worn out and you don't have time to yourself every day, you will burn out. At that point, you will be no good and certainly no help to anyone. It is not selfish at all to take a half-hour or so for yourself."

"Guess that makes sense," Joanne mumbled to herself, her head bent over the notepad as she scribbled down notes.

"I know you said worry that Roy might become involved with the paramedic training and he may not realize that it isn't what's best for everyone involved. I would suggest that we leave that topic alone for now. I will likely suggest a brief session with the two of you to in order to help figure things out like that if Johnny does end up going home with you. In the meantime, it'd be helpful to have such a session to develop a routine that would be helpful for your two children and one where Johnny could be included in if things go he way you hope. I haven't brought this up with Roy yet as with school in session, I am assuming that you have a fairly good routine down. You can let him know and I will let him know tomorrow about this."

"That'd be great. And you're right, until summer starts in a couple of weeks, things are pretty much under control," Jo sighed in relief.

Looking down at his watch, Karl saw that a little over an hour had passed by.

"Is there anything you would like to chat about yet? Or anything else you're worried about?" he inquired.

"Honestly, at this moment, I think I just feel like my brain has been overloaded with information," Joanne confessed. "If anything, I worry that Roy and I shouldn't have been so straightforward with our kids about Johnny's injuries, but…"

"Well, what were your other options?" Dr. Druthers asked.

"We could have not told them."

"Or?" he prodded.

"We could have downplayed the injuries," Joanne admitted.

"And what would have happened if you did either of those two things?" Karl challenged her to imagine the other possibilities.

"Roy and I have always believed in answering any questions Chris or Jenny ask us and so they would have wanted to know why Johnny wasn't coming over. There is no way either one of us could have not said anything," Joanne contemplated. "We felt that they deserved the whole truth, and not just because the two of them asked questions, but because he is family and Roy and I want to help him live the best life possible, no matter the outcome. By not telling Chris and Jenny everything as far we know, they wouldn't be prepared for what could happen and they wouldn't have a grasp on whether they could handle having Johnny home."

Seeing the question on the doctor's face, Joanne went on to explain, "Roy and I asked both Chris and Jenny after explaining what was happening with Johnny, as well as what could happen and the fact that it could be permanent if they would still want to have him live with us. It wouldn't have been fair to lie to our kids just to get what we wanted. They have to deal with the obstacles that are bound to come up from the head injury."

"Ahhh," Doctor Druthers smiled. "So, it sounds like by informing the kids about the effects of the injuries, you were able to make an informed family decision on what all four of you felt you could handle and what was not only best for Johnny, but best for your family."

"Well, yes," Joanne stated uncertainly.

"To me it sounds as if you and Roy did the right thing. Yes, it can't be easy for your kids to understand and accept, but given the other choices, this was the best one."

Reflecting on that point, Jo began to see what Karl was explaining. After letting her ponder that for a few minutes, he moved on.

"Is there anything else that you are concerned about?"

Shaking her head no, Joanne gave him a small smile.

"At least not today. More than likely tomorrow I will, it's just a lot to process all at once," she told him.

"I understand," he said sympathetically as he stood up. "Just give me a call if you or anyone in your family need anything. Otherwise, bring up Chris and Jenny after school. As I mentioned it to Roy, I cleared it with the peds floor that they can have access to the playroom."

Also standing up, Joanne thanked him.

"You've been a big help so far. I'll see you later today, probably around 3:30 p.m. or 4 p.m. It all depends on how fast I can get them moving!"

"Don't worry about that, I'm here till at least 6 tonight and can stay a bit later," he professed.

Thanking him again for his time, Joanne left Doctor Druthers office and went down to Johnny's ICU cubicle, hoping that her husband's presence was helping him sleep peacefully.


	16. Meeting Doctor Swarl-Interlude

While Joanne attended the session with the psychologist, Roy went back to the ICU to sit with Johnny. Opening his copy of _The Day of the Jackal_, he prepared himself to wait. However, despite the appeal of the novel, Roy found his mind wandering more often than he desired. Too many questions were swirling about in his mind and knowing that the answers to them were out of reach at the moment wasn't helping.

"Hi, how you holding up?" Dixie asked, entering as softly as possible so as not to disturb Johnny.

To say he was grateful for the interruption from morose thoughts was an understatement.

"Alright," Roy replied, shrugging.

Arching an eyebrow at him, Dixie gently brushed Johnny's hair from his eyes.

_Or at least what's left of his hair. We definitely need to fix your hair so it doesn't resemble a Barbie doll that some kid took their scissors to so much. _

"It's hard, seeing him like this and knowing I can't do nothing," Roy gave in and confessed. He knew all too well Dixie would eventually get him to talk. "Even with all the medications, Johnny's still restless and seems to be fighting something. Then, not knowing what will happen is just plain, well terrifying. And I cannot even begin to imagine what he must be going through."

"You are doing something though," Dix pointed out. "You're here and your entire family is fighting for him. That is huge."

Unable to figure out a good response, Roy just shrugged.

"He's family. How are you holding up?"

"So, so I guess," was the answer with a quiver in the voice. "Like you, I hate what happened and I wish I wasn't so helpless."

Clearing her throat from a sudden rush of emotions, Dix glanced at her watch.

"I should get going, my break is almost over. If you need anything, just call or come down."

"Actually, do you think you could ask Doc if he can get the records from when Johnny umm, lost his parents?" Roy hesitantly asked. "Normally, I wouldn't pry, but…"

"I think in this case, it might help," she said softly. "I'll be sure to ask him. You'll probably have to sign some paperwork, but he should be able to get it."

"Thanks."

"Not a problem," Dix said as she straighten the covers of Johnny's bed and fussed over him a bit more before heading to the door. "Remember, call if you need anything."

Smiling slightly, Roy assured her he would. With once last glance at Johnny and a nod towards Roy, Dixie left the ICU cubicle.

With Dixie gone, Roy attempted to get back into his book, but it was a fruitless effort. Instead, he spent his time staring blankly out the window, desperately trying to avoid thoughts. However, Johnny soon started becoming even more restless than before. Despite the heavy drugs coursing through his system, he tried moving about, almost as though he was locked in a nightmare and was struggling to emerge.

Immediately, Roy went to his side and grabbed on to the hand that seemed to be seeking some sort of comfort. The groaning that had begun to soften slightly as the movements ceased in frequency.

"Shhh, Junior, it's okay. Everything is okay. Just relax and try not to move. Everything is fine," Roy soothed.

Coming in the middle of this, Jo quickly went to the other side and held onto Johnny's other hand.

Speaking quietly, she asked, "Do you want to get the nurse?"

"Yeah, I think his meds are wearing off again," he said. "It seems like he might be developing a bit of a tolerance for them."

Within a minute of the call button being pushed, Nurse Northstrom entered. Seeing Johnny fidgeting despite Roy's attempts to calm him down, she quickly deduced the problem.

"Time for his medication?"

"Yeah, like I mentioned to Jo, I think he seemed to be developing a bit of a tolerance to them," Roy informed her.

Glancing at Johnny's chart and then her watch, she informed him, "Considering the time frame between medications, he is just a bit shy of needing them. I will let Doctor Swarl know however. He should be here shortly as I saw him on the floor heading to another patient's room. If you'll excuse me Mrs. DeSoto, I just need to get his vital signs."

"Oh, certainly nurse. Sorry," she said, caught off guard slightly. "And please, call me Joanne, or Jo."

Smiling, the nurse said, "Don't worry and please, call me Cindy."

Quickly taking the vital signs, Cindy noted them down on the medical chart.

"How's his b.p.?" asked Roy.

"It's better. Not a lot," she confessed. "However, it is going down."

Both Jo and Roy let out a sigh of relief. Knowing that every hour his blood pressure continued going down only meant a better chance of a good outcome and less effects from the brain injury, both were hopeful that there would be no more setbacks like the night before.

"Good afternoon," a man standing about five inches shorter than Roy's six foot, one inch height with dark red hair and green eyes.

_Must be the other neuro doc,_ Roy summarized, knowing he had never met the man before.

"Doctor Swarl?" cautiously asked Roy.

"Yes, sorry, I tend to forget to introduce myself," the doctor smiled, holding out his hand.

Getting the vital signs from Nurse Northstrom, he looked at the monitors displaying Johnny's heart rate. Going over the chart, he noticed the concerns about the possibilities of a tolerance to the diazepam.

"Let me give Mr. Gage a quick look over and then we can go over some of the questions you two might have."

"Johnny," Jo said. "He hates being called Mr. Gage, always said it makes him feel old."

Smiling, the doctor listened to Johnny's heart and lungs before checking his pupils for dilation. Doctor Swarl then took his reflex hammer out of his lab coat to check Johnny's various reflexes before flipping the hammer over to see how his non-casted foot to see if there was a Babinski response. Thankfully, that was negative. Concluding his exam, Doctor Swarl asked the nurse to go ahead with the normal dosage of diazepam and dexmedetomidine. Sitting down on the chair he had brought in, he faced the DeSoto's.

"So far, things are progressing fairly well, despite the setback he had last night," he informed them. "Ideally, we would like Johnny's blood pressure to go down further faster, however, everyone does heal at their own pace and at least it is going down. As long as that trend continues, all we as doctors can really do is wait and watch for changes.

"X-ray's will continue to be taken every day or every other day if possible as we really don't want to subject him to too many of those considering the length of time it will likely take for the bruises to heal. On the other hand, considering we do need to monitor the swelling and ensure that the bruising doesn't result in other damages, such as more bleeding, we may not have a choice but to schedule Johnny for skull series daily. Of course, if his blood pressure goes up again, than we will have to change our course of treatment.

"Hopefully, by keeping him sedated until the swelling goes down to the point where it is almost non-existent, it will help a great deal in healing. Not just the head injury, but his other injuries as well. As far as the age regression, well, honestly, considering Doctor Early is Johnny's doctor and I have never dealt with this condition before, I'd rather leave that area up to him. He will be able to guide you better than almost any other neurologist, especially since all of you know each other.

"Johnny's reflexes are looking fine considering where he is at right now. His heart is strong. I do have some concerns about his lungs, as they are starting to sound congested. I am sure you were made aware that it isn't uncommon for patients to develop lung infections or pneumonia after surgery or when they are on bed rest like this?" Doctor Swarl asked. Seeing Roy and Joanne nod that they did, he continued.

"I am going to consult with Doctor Brackett as to what antibiotic will be the best one to start Johnny on. Hopefully, the infection has been caught early enough that with the antibiotic, no major problems will develop. As far as the other medication, I think right now, our best bet is to just watch him and continue the blood work to make sure the levels are within the range we would like. So far, they have been, so I am not worried about Johnny developing a tolerance at this point, although this is something that do watch for anytime medications are used for this length of time. If it happens that he does develop a tolerance, there are other things we could try, but right now, let's not worry about that, okay? Do you have any questions?"

Taking a few minutes to digest the wealth of information that was given to them, Jo and Roy looked at each other in silent communication.

"Why not use the CT Scan instead of x-rays?" Roy inquired.

"Unfortunately, the CT Scan, while it is able to give us a better picture of the brain, takes a lot longer to develop the images than an x-ray. Here at Rampart, while we're lucky that we have the scanner at all as not many hospitals do considering how new the technology is, we don't have the capabilities to develop the results. Considering that, we have to send out the information to a place about an hour away. At times, they can get backed up as they deal with many other hospitals for developing images and therefore, it can take up to a day to get the image we want. The scanner will be used, however to check the progress once a week for a while I believe. You would need to consult with Doctor Early about that."

Glancing at her husband again, Jo took a deep breath, "What do you think are the chances Johnny will recover enough?"

Seeing the perplexed look on Dr. Swarl's face, she tried again, "Do you think he will recover from the age regression?"

"Honestly, I don't know," he said, sounding a bit sad. "I wish I could tell you, but from what I understand, there is no way to know until the brain contusions heal."

Nodding, tears formed in her eyes as it felt like more hope was taken away. Knowing it could be months before any guesses could be formed was heartbreaking. Holding onto Joanne closely, Roy thanked the doctor for his time.

"You're welcome. I'll be back to check on Johnny later this evening," he informed them as he stood up. "I truly am sorry I couldn't be of more help."

Nodding, Roy watched as he left and Cindy Northstrom entered with the medication to help Johnny. Within minutes, John was once again in a deep sleep.

_Even if it is only temporary, at least Johnny can escape and find peace,_ Roy gratefully thought.


	17. Lunchtime

The DeSotos waited another half-hour once Johnny fell back asleep, neither of them willing to leave his side. Despite the fact the restlessness was barely there, both Joanne and Roy felt the need to protect him. For Roy, he had a hard leaving as his mind kept going back to how these injuries were gained.

_How do we even know that some part of him isn't aware of what took place to cause these injuries? _Roy worried. _Even if he isn't aware, are the meds really blocking out all the pain and fear? How am I supposed to leave him knowing how vulnerable he is? Sure, others here are watching out for him, but I seem to be the one he can trust at least somewhat. How could I abandon him even for short amounts considering this?_

Joanne too was having similar thoughts and worries, although hers were not just about Johnny. For her, she wasn't sure how to help her husband.

All she could think was, _how am I supposed to ask him to divide his time between Johnny and our other family members when Johnny needs him so much? Yet, at the same time, the kids need the reassurance that even with all the changes, their dad will still be there for them. And how do I convince Roy this wasn't his fault?_

Sighing, Joanne knew there were no easy answers or fast ways of dealing with this. Instead, like the times when her worry would threaten to override common sense whenever Roy was sent to a brush fire for days at a time or there were news reports about firefighters being trapped during a rescue, she would have to take things one moment at a time.

_Even though Roy has experience dealing with the worries and fear that comes when Johnny is injured, I know this is a whole new level of anxiety and fear. I guess it will be up to me to show him how to cope when the unknowns threaten to topple your daily world,_ Jo resolved.

Standing up, she gently kissed Johnny on the forehead.

"Come on honey," she told Roy as she came around to the end of the bed. "It's almost one already and we need to pick up the kids in a couple of hours. We should grab something to eat while we can."

Nodding, he gave Johnny's hand a quick squeeze before standing up and following Jo out the cubicle. Before leaving the ICU ward, Roy informed Nurse Northstrom that they would be at the cafeteria in case anyone needed to find them. After assuring both Jo and Roy that she would look in on Johnny a bit more often while they were gone for the next hour, the DeSoto's left in search of food.

Neither Roy nor Jo spoke a word as they traveled down the elevator to the first floor or went through the lunch line. Both were just feeling too mentally drained at that point that having a quiet lunch was a welcome reprieve. Near the end of their lunch, Doctor Brackett came out and asked if he could join them for a bit.

"Sure, doc," Roy agreed. "Is something wrong?"

"No, no," Dr. Brackett hurriedly assured him and Jo. "I just wanted to discuss a few things with you two as well as get the paperwork signed that you requested."

"Ahh, ok," Roy drank the last of his milk before wiping his hands to take the papers being handed to him. "So, have you figured out exactly where to send them or…?"

"Unfortunately, no. That's why there is a bunch of forms. I figure that I will send one to the local school district, the county social service, the local clinic, the local fire department and the local police department. I also found there is a Baptist mission located there, which isn't all too uncommon, so I included a form to see if they had any information regarding Johnny or his family. I also am going to send a request to a few of their local work unions that were around the time he was born to see if we can find out about his father, what type of work he did, etc. Finally, I have a form that will be going to the cultural center. I don't believe it was around when he was born, but I can't be certain and I figure at this point, it will be better to try to cover all the possible bases at once. I'll be sure to fax the paperwork to the local postal office and ask that they airmail the information the various places have so we can have the information in a few days.

I would like you to contact his aunt, see if she could send you any and all information she has about Johnny." Doctor Bracket asked. "I have a list of what I am going to be asking for as well as what I would like you to ask for from his aunt. I am not sure if his school or medical records after his aunt took over his care will help, but I'm hoping it will give us more of a complete picture of his childhood, just in case."

"Just in case of what?" Roy wondered. "I mean, isn't asking for all this a bit much? I can understand some of this, but what if he does recover. He likely will not be happy about us knowing all of this. You know how private he is about his past."

"I know Roy," assured the doctor. "That's why you are not going to see any of this and I will only tell you what I believe you need to know. However, we need to prepare for anything that may happen, whether it is that Johnny stays the age he is or if he recovers partly and thinks he is older than he is right now, but not his true age. It will be much easier to get all of this now rather than getting some now and some later if needed. I hate the idea of invading his privacy as well and if there was a different way of helping him, I'd do so.

"It's just that this head injury is taking away a lot of our options right now and there are too many uncertainties at this point in time. Unfortunately, even with all the technology and resources available, as doctors are bound and we can't do anything but wait and see. This is basically the only way I know how I can help you so that you can help Johnny," Dr. Brackett said with frustration clear in his voice.

Reaching out to take his hand, Joanne softly told him, "I guess we forgot how much you care for him and how hard this is for you. We do appreciate everything you're doing."

Squeezing his hand, Jo backed off, sensing the high emotions at their lunch table. Clearing his throat, Doctor Brackett blinked rapidly.

"Well, umm, yeah," he stuttered and stumbled over his words, uncertain how to deal with things. He was also highly embarrassed to be caught showing his caring and vulnerable side.

_For goodness sake, I'm a doctor. It shouldn't matter that I am friends with Johnny or Roy or their families. I should be able to maintain the distance and not be so emotionally involved. I cannot do my job if I get too caught up in the fact that I care more about them than I would most patients. Besides, what on earth would people think?_

Going back to a topic he was clearly more comfortable with, he pointed out to Roy where to sign.

"As soon as you sign these, I will just get these fax."

Signing the numerous paperwork, Roy let out a deep breath. Dr. Brackett took the sheaf of paperwork and pulled out more.

"More?" Roy exclaimed under his breath.

"These are different," Doctor Brackett said, clearly uncomfortable. "I talked to my lawyer a couple days ago about this situation. I knew you two had more than enough to deal with and well, honestly, I wasn't even sure what to do about this situation. I knew that considering that it will take at least a couple of months to find out how much Johnny will recover, someone will need to take care of things for him as far as finances go. Things like rent on his apartment, any car payments or other bank payments he may have. Someone will need to be able to cash his disability check and so on.

"I asked my lawyer what happens when a person who is rendered unable to do these things because they are mentally incapable due to a head injury. I needed to know if the person with the medical power of attorney and the next of kin have the ability to do these things. I was told by my lawyer, Steven Larsen that those two documents don't cover those areas. What you need to do is file with the court documents from two physicians stating the injury, the effects of the injury and the possible duration of the injury along with a request for temporary guardianship. In cases like this, Steven said that it is almost always granted if you ask for a reasonable time period, such as two months in this case. The time period can always be extended. If worst comes to worse, and this becomes permanent, than a third doctor who wasn't involved in the initial care and treatment would need to do an evaluation before permanent guardianship is granted.

"I wanted to bring this up now because even if for some reason it is felt that your home isn't the best place for Johnny, someone would need to have guardianship over him," shifting in discomfort at what he was going to bring up next, but knowing he was legally obligated, Doctor Brackett continued. "Of course, you don't need to go through this process at all. If you choose not to, someone from social services would be assigned as his case worker and take over the responsibility of managing his money, where Johnny lived and any other needs he may have until he is able to manage on his own."

Joanne and Roy looked at each other in shock.

"Doc, you should know me better than that!" Roy practically yelled.

"There is no way on this earth that anyone is taking care of Johnny, but us," Joanne stated firmly.

Smiling, the doctor simply said, "I figured you both would feel that way. I had to tell you anyway, but knowing you two, I brought the paperwork that you will need to fill out. I recommend you to take your time and fill it out so you know everything is filled in correctly. It will take a couple days for us doctors to fill out our portion of the paperwork. Your end is fairly simple, just names, address, stuff like that."

"Thanks," Roy said gratefully.

"I am so glad you did this," Joanne agreed.

"Not a problem," Doctor Brackett said truthfully. "I am just so glad John has you two on his side. I got to get back to work now, but let me know if you need anything at all."

"I think we're good for right now," Roy let him know. "By the way, you were right. I think having Doctor Druthers on our side will help and our kids will get along with him."

"I'm glad. Now, let's just hope that when the crew meet him, he doesn't lock up Chet for a 72-hour hold," Dr. Brackett joked.

"I didn't know they were going to meet with him," Jo was surprised.

"Me either."

Rising from his chair, the doctor informed them, "the fire chief thought it would be a good idea for a psych consult considering how close all of you are and since everyone wants to help you succeed in bringing Johnny home, he agreed to my suggestion to seeing Dr. Druthers. I think it will be a group meeting and then, if needed, individual sessions. This is in addition to the trip to New Horizons."

"Ahh, thanks again," Roy said as he too got up.

Joanne also rose, stating, "I can't tell you how grateful I am that you watch out for my extended family."

Blushing a bit, Dr. Brackett looked at his watch.

"I really have to get back to the ER. I'll see you guys later."

"Yeah, we'll be bringing the kids here in a couple hours if you want to stop by later," Jo offered.

"I just might do that. Take care," he told them as he left.

Grabbing their plates and glasses, Roy stacked them on a tray and bused them.

"It looks like we have about an hour before we have to get the kids."

Taking her husband's hand, Jo said, "let's go see that third child of ours. Make sure he is doing alright."

Smiling, the two of them went back up to the ICU.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: <strong>Fax machines were first used in 1924, although they weren't capable of doing much. By the late 1970's, when this story takes place, there were a lot of companies who were involved in making and selling of fax machines, making them cheaper and better than their predecessors. Therefore, it is logical to assume that during this story, even a smaller reservation may have been able to afford one.

According to the research I did on the Seminole people and the reservation, the mission Baptists were the ones who often came to a reservation. They were typically the only church who came to the reservation from what I could find in my research. If I am incorrect in this, I apologize.


	18. After School

**AN: Thank you to all those taking the time to read this and for all the reviews! **

**Please note due to my tonsils being removed in a few days, it may be up to 2 weeks before I'm able to post again.**

* * *

><p>At quarter to three that afternoon, Roy and Joanne discussed the best plan of action for the rest of the night. After a few minutes, they felt it was best if Roy followed Joanne home and they both picked up the kids at their school so that both of them would be available to answer any questions Chris or Jennifer may have come up with during the day. The need to make sure that if a teacher needed to speak with them about any worrisome behavior was also present as Joanne had alerted the school to the situation when the accident happened. Although there had been no problems yet, Roy and Jo realized the longer the circumstances continued, the more likely that something may take place.<p>

Roy also reasoned it would be easier to go with his kids up to Dr. Druthers office and hopefully find a way to sneak them into see Johnny. Despite the ICU not allowing kids under 15 in, often times, the nurses were willing to bend the rules for the DeSoto family. Let Nurse Northstrom of this plan, the couple went out to the parking area to find their cars and met at home.

Taking a couple of minutes to grab a book Jenny was reading and a couple of sport magazines for Chris while she waited for Roy, Joanne noticed that someone had done a quick clean-up of her house. Glancing in the refrigerator were not only the basic groceries they had started running low on, but a bunch of meals that could be heated quickly. The freezer was packed with even more meals and some frozen treats while the counter had some baked goods.

Shaking her head, all Jo could think was, _I can't even imagine what I would do without the Station 51 A shift family… I can't count how many times this has been done for our family when Roy and/or Johnny has gotten hurt._

Hearing Roy's car pull up, she quickly wiped her eyes clear and grabbed a brown paper bag which was labeled as an afternoon snack for the kids. As she entered the passenger side of the station wagon while Roy got into the driver's side, he asked what she had all picked up.

"Just some reading material for the kids in case they don't have homework or need a break," she said. "Plus, I found a bunch of food again in the freeze, fridge and counters. There were a couple of bags labeled as "Kids Afternoon Snacks" so I grabbed one. I figure the person, or people, behind all the cooking, baking and whatnot knows us too well. Oh, someone also took the liberty of dusting and vacuuming the main rooms, and cleaning up the kitchen and kids baths."

Smiling, Roy asked, "What do you expect? I know the guys couldn't help out this time since they're working, so it was probably Irene, Marco's mom and Chet's mom."

"I just wish I could thank them."

Pulling up to the school, Roy looked at Joanne and asked rhetorically, "and how often have you done the same when others are injured?"

Shrugging, Jo didn't answer as the school bell rang and a mass of kids ran full tilt out of the school. It wasn't long before Chris and Jenny were hurtling themselves into the car. As soon as they were in and buckled, both began talking.

"Hold it," Roy gently commanded. "First of all, one at a time. Secondly, things are still the same as they were yesterday with your…with Johnny. I'll see if I can sneak you two in if you'd like, but you have to understand, despite the medications helping him sleep, Johnny is still restless and not all the pain is under control. He also has two black eyes from the head trauma and although he isn't bald, his hair is cut very oddly. It had to be done that way for the surgery. He also has a lot of other small bumps, bruises, burn marks and stitches. Since his ankle is broken, his right foot, ankle and half-way to his knee is covered in a cast. I want you to think long and hard about if you are able to handle seeing Johnny like this and feel free to talk it over with Dr. Druthers, alright?

"Johnny is also hooked up to an oxygen mask to help his breathing. There isn't anything wrong with his lungs, it's just that because of the medications the doctors are giving him, he needs some support with his breathing. Johnny also has what is called a central line since yesterday. It's similar to an IV, but it goes in through his shoulder and directly to his heart. The central line is being used because of the medications that need to be used and for the length of time they will need to be used. There is also an IV port so that the nurses can take blood as needed. Johnny also has a tube down his nose right now so that his body can get the nutrition it needs."

Seeing that his kids were listening carefully and nodding through his rearview mirror, Roy continued, "since he is in the ICU, his heart is being monitored through an EKG. The nurses are also monitoring vitals every thirty minutes. Since there is only so much medication that can be given without risking Johnny's health, I've been spending a lot of time by his side as it seems to help. While you two are seeing Dr. Druthers, your mom and I would like it if you could do homework if you have any or mom picked up something for you to read while you wait. I can wait with you, or if you don't mind, I'll wait in the ICU."

Watching as Jenny and Chris thought it over, Roy and Jo weren't at all surprised when they both said it would be fine for just their mom to wait in the outside office with them.

"It seems pointless to have you doing nothing, dad," Jenny told him flat out. "I know I can just read the book I have with me."

"Same here, although I still have some homework to do. You'd just end up restless even though I'm sure you have a book. Probably the same book you bring along almost any time winds up in the hospital since you never get past the first few chapters," Chris giggled saying this.

Ignoring the comment since he couldn't deny it, Roy looked over to Joanne for help. All she did was laugh as well.

"I brought you guys a snack someone from the station packed as supper might be a bit later tonight," she told the kids, unwilling to get sucked in.

Starting the car, Roy began the drive back to the hospital.

"Once you two are finished with your sessions, I believe Dr. Druthers might talk with us a bit. Not because he will tell us what you talked about, but rather because I guess for your mom and I, we need to set an actual time, rather than dropping by as we did today. He'll go over all the privacy stuff with you, but unless it's something we need to know because it will affect our family and the care of Johnny I believe, I think that everything remains between you and the doctor. Even if Dr. Early asks, he won't break that confidentiality. It's against the law, unless you're a danger to yourself or others."

"Cool," Chris said.

"Yea," Jenny agreed. "No offense, but it'll be kinda nice to talk to someone like that."

"I understand sweetie," Jo replied as Roy found a place to park.

"I'll head home with you guys for supper and come back to stay with Johnny for a bit, but I promise to be home by ten o'clock, ok?" seeing the kids nodded, Roy took a deep breath and questioned, "You two all set?"

"Yep," came the replies and with that, the family went in the main entrance and headed to Dr. Druthers office on the 8th floor.


End file.
